Cancelled Reservations
by paulacole
Summary: Set about a year after Reserved for Two More season tenthree. Mostly an Atlantis fic but crossover with SG1. McKayKatie Brown, SamDan. FEEDBACK LOVED!
1. Chapter 1

_**Cancelled Reservations**_

_Set about a year after Reserved for Two More (season ten/three). Mostly an Atlantis fic but crossover with SG-1. McKayKatie Brown, SamDan. _

_And I am in no way affiliated with MGM, the SciFi channel or anyone affiliated with Stargate. If I were, I'd be writing scripts, not fanfiction. I write for my own pleasure and anyway, I'm a poverty-stricken student, it's not worth suing me over._

Chapter One

Rodney made sounds that were close to a purr as Katie rubbed his back exactly the way he liked it. Not for the first time in the last year he was absolutely awed by his ability to catch and keep a woman like Katie. He kept waiting for her to take the blinders out and realise he wasn't worth her adoration. But no, she was with him almost every night, and most of his free time, always understanding how important his work was (in his least condescending tone he had pointed out that discovering and adapting technology to protect them from the Wraith was a little more important then studying plants), amusing herself with her friends and own work when he wasn't available and never getting petulant when he had to cancel on her – which he tried damn hard not to, more then he had with anyone else, ever.

He didn't realise that Katie knew this, far more then he knew it himself. He didn't realise Katie knew how much of an effort he made to be nice to her when he was tired, hungry or frustrated. He didn't realise how flattered she was that she could interrupt him while he was yelling at Zelenka, Becket or anyone else who got in his way and he would instantly be all smiles because he was absolutely devoted to her and keeping her happy – which included no yelling in her presence, let alone _at_ her.

She had been flattered when, with previously-unknown tact he had explained in a very complimentary, easygoing way that while her work was very important, it wasn't quite as important to Atlantis's immediate survival as his was. She was flattered that, despite the obvious demands on his time, he managed to have most nights free for her – even if he _did _benefit from the backrubs that had dramatically improved his sleep. She knew that he slept better with her – something everyone Elizabeth down had commented on, because a well-rested Rodney was a much nicer Rodney. She was flattered everytime an attractive woman passed and he was completely blind to her. She loved the way he looked at her adoringly, even when he was tired, hungry and frustrated and would normally be yelling at anyone else who dared cross his path.

She knew he loved her, even if he didn't often say so. A man like Rodney McKay couldn't go through such a personality transformation – at least as far as she was concerned – without loving a person to distraction and wanting to make them happy. So even if he didn't say it often, she knew he loved her, so she did her best to make his life a little easier for him.

She had discovered shortly into their relationship that he suffered terrible neck and backaches caused by too much time spent hunched over a desk, trying to work out what this and that various piece of technology did and how they could reverse engineer it. This, in turn, was the major reason he slept so badly. Of course, they had trained physiotherapist for whom fixing such a problem would be a cinch, but Katie had quickly discovered Rodney had some major personal space issues. Without any fuss, she had taken on the roll of his personal masseuse, and ever since, he had looked at her a little more adoringly. That, and he always slept better when he slept with her in his arms.

She wasn't exactly put out with spending the night in his arms, either.

They had been together almost a year and for most of that time they had been lovers. She was aware that a nicer Rodney made for a more attractive Rodney – both as a friend and something more – which was emphasised by the increasing number of comments she was getting from women who envied Rodney's attentiveness towards her. But she never felt threatened, even when the comments came from some of the more sexually aggressive women of the expedition (it was funny how even in a situation like Atlantis, where imminent disaster was never far off, sexual predators were still sexual predators) because she knew like she knew Rodney that he had been absolutely faithful and that there was no-one who could tempt him from her.

Well, no-one in Atlantis at least. Or even Pegasus for that matter. But Katie had never quite gotten over the insecurity she felt towards Colonel Carter, specifically Rodney's previous infatuation with her. Doctor Jackson's revelations six months ago had done a lot to still her insecurities, as had Rodney's outright rejection of Carter when she'd come to Pegasus a few months before that, but Katie feared there would always be a part of her that would be insecure when it came to Carter.

Rodney knew this, and it was why he was reluctant to tell her he'd made plans to take the Daedalus to Earth the next time it docked in Atlantis – about a week from now. It was perfectly innocent, he wanted to see his sister again, he wanted to introduced her and Katie, he wanted to, on a purely professional level, touch base with Colonel Cater. And one other thing that he wasn't going to tell Katie about.

As tempting as it was, he knew it would be more hassle then it was worth to tell her _after_ they'd had sex. She would see the manipulation for what it was and really give him what for over it – it was one of the things he loved about her. She might anticipate and cater to his needs, but she was no pushover.

So when she began to run kisses down his spine that guaranteed an instant hard-on, he reluctantly shrugged her off. Immediately she knew something was up. "I'm going to Earth in a week," he blurted out. "And I want you to come with me."

"Why do you want to go to Earth?" she asked, her insecurities playing up just a little. Colonel Carter was on Earth, and she bet that was at least part of the reason he was going. Carter was one of the few people who had ever come close to matching his intelligence and she supposed it was human nature to want to spent time with like-minded people – even if it _had_ ended badly.

Rodney chose his words carefully. There was no getting around the fact he was looking forward to seeing Carter – professionally, that was – and to pretend he wasn't would be an insult to Katie's intelligence. "Caldwell and O'Niell think it's a good idea that Colonel Carter and I compare notes," he said cautiously. "And… I want to see Jeannie. And introduce you to her."

He wasn't lying about the trip to Earth being Caldwell and O'Neill's idea (although he was under the impression from Daniel that O'Neill absolutely hated him these days, something to do with Rodney being much better in bed, Daniel had said vaguely with the blood creeping to his cheeks) although the more he'd thought about it, the more he'd warmed up to the idea. He really did want to see his sister again and, quite honestly, it would be good to see Carter again. As nice as it was to be the Most Intelligent Man in the Galaxy, he missed sparring with someone almost equal to his intellect. That, and it was a stroke to his ego that he was still needed on Earth. He'd agreed, on the condition that Katie was allowed to come with him. The high command wasn't keen on lowly botanists using the Daedalus for visits, but it had been decided Rodney was needed badly enough that his girlfriend could come along for the ride.

Katie looked at him suspiciously. She would never admit it out loud, of course, but she would be quite happy if Rodney never saw Colonel Carter again. It didn't matter how practical it was for the Stargate Command's two most brilliant scientists to spent time together in a professional capacity, Katie didn't like the idea. But… Rodney wouldn't have invited her along – _insisted_ that she be allowed to come with him – if his intentions weren't good. It would have been easy enough to say he'd been given no choice and to leave her in Atlantis for two weeks.

"You really want me to come?" she asked. To tell the truth, the idea of seeing her family again _was_ tempting. When she had first come to Atlantis, she had been so excited at the prospect of studying the lands of a completely different galaxy and so flattered that she had been one of the chosen few to go that she hadn't really thought about what it would mean to leave all her family and friends behind. Oh, sure, she had made new friends, but nothing ever quite replaced family. No wonder Rodney was jumping at the bit to see Jeannie again ; she was missing her own family quite badly, and he had been in Atlantis twice as long as her.

He kissed her lightly on her mouth. "I don't know how I can be without you for two weeks," he admitted, looking a little embarrassed, like it was unmanly to admit such a thing. "I really want you to come with me."

It was hard to be insecure when he looked at her like that, so needy, so adoring. It wasn't just that she helped him sleep better – she made him happier, and he wasn't as happy when she wasn't around. No woman had made him feel the way Katie had, certainly not Colonel Carter.

"OK," she said shyly, thinking about how good it would be to meet Jeannie – and introduce Rodney to her family.

His eyes lit up. "Thankyou," he said, and he kissed her.

As usual when they were alone together, their kisses didn't stay just kisses, and an hour later they lay in bed together, basking in the afterglow of great sex. He nuzzled the back of her neck, planting kisses on her skin. "I love you," he murmured in one of the rare moments he was at ease with himself enough to say the words. He'd never thought he'd love someone, certainly not as much as he loved Katie. For sure, there was lust, infatuation, but not love. Love was messy. Love was complicated.

To hell with it. He loved Katie. Loved her so much he wanted to marry her.

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Once they got back to Earth, their first stop was to Canada so Rodney could introduce Katie to his sister. Jeannie McKay was delighted to see her brother again. His arrogance and short-temperedness had often aggravated the hell out of her in the past, but it was true that absence made the heart grow fonder, and she was delighted to see him again. Especially since he brought with him an attractive, intelligent woman who seemed to adore him. Jeannie had thought such a thing was impossible, but apparently miracles happened. She had long given up on her brother finding anyone special (although giving up on his fantasies of nailing that Samantha Carter would have been a nice start) so when it happened, she was delighted.

She continued to be delighted when she discovered that Katie Brown was, on top of being intelligent and attractive, a warm, kind-spirited women who showed a hint of feistiness – something she definitely needed when it came to dealing with Rodney. And she seemed to be dealing with him well. Where Rodney had previously been arrogant and short-tempered, he was attentive and even-tempered, almost _humble_. He constantly smiled at her, touched her gently in ways would have made a person who didn't know better think they'd been together for a month, not a year. Jeannie was impressed. This woman was really something if she had Rodney behaving like a human being for her.

"Do you think she liked me?" Katie asked nervously later that evening when she and Rodney had retired to his old room. He and Jeannie had grown up here, and technically it was both their house, but for all intents and purposes it was hers – after all, he didn't exactly live in the neighbourhood anymore. Even though he hadn't really lived here for several years, it was still an experience to be in Rodney's old room. There wasn't much on the walls, not even the periodic table or the kind of thing you would expect to see on the walls of a science geek. Considering he had creating a working nuclear bomb in elementary school, Katie supposed the periodic table was beneath him.

She was flattered Rodney had insisted their first stop would be to see his sister, even before going to Cheyenne Mountain. That _had_ to make her a big priority in his life – even bigger the Samantha Carter. Her confidence had gotten quite a boost at that thought.

"Yeah," Rodney said noncommittally. He knew Jeannie liked her, but his thoughts were elsewhere.

And Katie knew it. Rodney had been distracted ever since she'd agreed to come back to Earth with him. He was stressed out about something – the knots in his back just wouldn't go away no matter how expertly she rubbed. Something was on his mind, and he didn't tell like what it was like he usually did. "What's up?" she asked casually.

"Nothing," he mumbled. Even lying face down he was a terribly liar. It pained her that he didn't open up to her – he usually loved to have a sympathetic ear about whatever, or whoever was bothering this time. But not this time – this time he was keeping his distractions to herself. She felt a twinge of resentment and wondered what had caused him to clam up.

"You're uptight, your back's all in knots," she pressed.

"I'm fine," he said, sounding anything but fine. He sounded stressed, distracted – and resentful that she should be prying. "Just drop it."

He had never used that tone on her. On others, but never on her, and never when he realised she was in earshot. She swallowed back the lump that was forming in her throat.

Rodney knew he had pushed her too far. He tried to roll over but she was straddling him and refusing to move. Whether she had done it consciously or not, she was in a position of power of him. He had to give her credit for that. "Katie, I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just a little stressed out."

"About going to the Stargate Command?" Katie asked.

"Yeah." That would do as an excuse.

"About seeing Colonel Carter?"

He hadn't thought about it, but since she'd brought it up, he _was_ kind of nervous about seeing Samantha again. "A little," he admitted.

It cut her more deeply then she cared to admit that he was nervous about seeing her. She would have much preferred him being indifferent. If he was nervous, that had to mean he had some kind of residual feelings for her. But… he had proven he loved her, proven he wasn't easily distracted by other women. She had to trust him.

"I trust you," she murmured, as much for own peace of mind as to reassure Rodney. "I love you."

Her words had the affect of relaxing him, although not for the reasons she thought. She thought he was troubled over seeing Carter again and telling him she trusted him had helped him relax ; he was actually nervous over wanting to marry her, and her telling him she loved him had done the trick. If she loved him, then at least she wouldn't throw his proposal back in his face.

"I love you too," he murmured. "So much." There was so much more he wanted to say, but it wasn't in his nature to be poetic and emotional. He just hoped Katie knew him enough to know what he meant. Under her gentle ministrations, he drifted off to sleep.

When she realised he'd finally fallen asleep, Katie left Rodney to it and went downstairs to make herself a cup of coffee. She shouldn't be drinking coffee this late, but she was too keyed up to sleep so she figured it wouldn't matter. Smiling to herself, she thought about Rodney as she made her way around the unfamiliar kitchen. She was really happy he'd brought her here. She couldn't wait for him to meet her family.

"Mugs are in the top shelf to the left," Jeannie's voice came from behind her. "And I'd love a coffee too, if that's what you're making."

"This late?" Katie asked automatically.

Jeannie grinned. "It's a McKay thing. We can be fixed up to a caffeine drip and still be able to sleep." Well, Rodney didn't sleep well, but that had been a Rodney thing for as long as she could remember. "Where is he?" she asked.

"He's asleep," Katie said nonchalantly, as if it was a common occurrence for Rodney to be asleep after such a short period of time and not a minor miracle.

Jeannie looked at Katie dubiously. She liked what she'd seen of the young woman so far, but that didn't seem like her brother at all. "Rodney doesn't sleep," she said simply. "He finds it really hard to relax."

Katie nodded. "I know. But it helps when I rub his back the way he likes."

Jeannie looked at Katie even more dubiously. "Rodney has personal space issues," she stated matter-of-factly. Years ago, their mother had tried introducing him to professional therapeutic massage as a means of alleviating his insomnia ; it had only made him more strung out.

Katie smiled knowingly. "I know," she said. It had been to her secret delight when a beautiful female scientist had thought the best way to get on Rodney's good side was through touch – leaning over him when he was sitting down, her hand on his shoulder, touching his arm in conversation. He had been especially cranky towards her for a week. Call her self-obsessed, but she _liked _knowing she was the only one Rodney allowed into his personal space, she _liked_ knowing only she could have that affect on him. "But he doesn't seem to mind when I do it."

Jeannie looked impressed. "He must really like you if you have that affect on him," she said. It wasn't even about just liking her ; it was about the calming effect she had on him. And _no-one_ had been able to calm Rodney to the point he could fall asleep in an hour – _no-one_.

Katie blushed. She was confident in Rodney's feelings for her, but she felt strange discussing them with his sister. She sop desperately wanted Jeannie to like her. "He does," she said. "But sometimes I worry."

"About…?" Jeannie prompted.

Katie had had no intention of telling Rodney sister about her insecurities, but for some reason, she felt at ease with the woman. "He had a crush on this woman for years, and I'm a little worried about him seeing her."

"You mean Sam Carter?" Jeannie asked. Katie nodded, and a little of the happiness in her eyes evaporated. Jeannie remembered Samantha, or at least Rodney babbling about her – how hot she was, how smart she was. "I thought he was over that."

"He is," Katie said. "It's just… he's seeing her next week, because of the work they do, and I'm worried…"

"He might be reminded of how much he lusted after her?" Jeannie offered. Katie nodded, looking sheepish. "I don't think it's anything to worry about. He's mad about you and besides, nothing came of his crush on Sam."

"That's the thing… he and Carter slept together," Katie blurted out. Needless to say, Jeannie looked surprised. "It was the night before he… left for this expedition," she said, aware that Jeannie hadn't been granted a clearance to know exactly what the Atlantis expedition was about. "She treated him pretty badly, it took him a while to get over it." She omitted the fact he'd called her Sam when he'd first kissed her ; there was no reason for Jeannie to know that. "When she found out about us, I guess it made her a little jealous because she came over and… tried to seduce Rodney." She said the last words in a whisper ; it had been almost a year but the feeling of dread she'd felt seeing Samantha go into Rodney's room had never quite left her. She could trust him with anyone but him.

Jeannie was surprised ; she had never thought Samantha returned Rodney's feelings, or at least his attraction. For a split moment, she couldn't help but wonder just how good in bed her brother was to inspire that kind of jealousy. "I don't think you have anything to worry about," Jeannie said generously. "I don't think you fully appreciate the disaster that has been Rodney's love-life. He's very fond of you and, if nothing else, he knows when he's onto a good thing. He won't be easily distracted."

Katie bit her lip. "There's something he's not telling me," she admitted. "He was really stressed out about something before more then usual. He usually tells me when something's up but tonight he was just…" she trailled off unhappily.

Jeannie patted her leg sympathetically. "Whatever it is, I'm sure he's got a good reason for not telling you," she said, hoping the sentiment was true. With more conviction she added, "No-one knows Rodney better then I do and believe me, he adores you, you can put your faith in that."

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"Sleep well?" Jeannie asked Rodney sweetly when she saw him the next day. He _did_ look rather well-rested, much more so then the Rodney she had known two years ago who was usually too worked up about something or other to get a good night's sleep. Katie must be something pretty special if she could make him relax like that. Jeannie hoped Rodney wouldn't do anything stupid to sabotage that.

"Fine," Rodney said.

"I spoke to Katie last night, she seems really sweet."

"She is," Rodney agreed. "She puts up with a lot from me."

Rodney McKay, more or less admitting he could sometimes be a right ass? _Sweet and humbling_, Jeannie thought. The more she found out about Katie, the more she liked the woman who had captured her brother's heart – and was taking excellent care of it.

There was an awkward silence before Rodney scrounged up the courage to blurt out, "Jeannie, d'you still have mum's engagement ring?"

The question came as such as a shock that Jeannie had to think about it for a few seconds. It had been a matter of practicality that Jeannie and not Rodney had inherited their mother's jewellery. "Um, yeah," she said after a pause.

"Can I have it?" he asked.

"What for?"

"You know what I want it for," Rodney said. He was starting to look very nervous – and feel it, too. His hands felt sweaty and his throat felt dry, and this was _Jeannie_ he was talking to. It was going to be hell, talking to Katie. His stomach started to knot up at the mere thought.

Jeannie smiled in delight. "_That's_ what you were so uptight about last night?" she asked. Rodney looked blank. "I had a chat with Katie last night, after you fell asleep. She's a bit worried because you were distracted about something and you wouldn't tell her what."

Rodney looked indignant. "Like I was going to tell her I wouldn't relax because I was nervous about proposing to her?" he blurted out. It was the first time he had verbalised his intentions and it was scary to hear the words spoken out loud. His stomach knotted a little more.

Jeannie smiled. She figured it was time to put Rodney out of his misery ; her brother looked thoroughly strung-out. "You can have it," she said. "Is that the reason you came back?"

"Part of it," he admitted. "I really do need to touch base with Sam Carter. But… I wanted to propose and I didn't want a store-bought ring. I mean, I know mum's ring was store-bought but that's not the same and…"

"I get it," Jeannie said with a laugh. Secretly, she was impressed Rodney had thought of something so sentimental. Katie must really be making inroads on him. "How long are you staying for, by the way?"

"A few days," he said. "Then we're going to see Katie's family in West Virginia. After that I have to go to Colorado because of the airforce… I was hoping you'd come with me. I don't have an awful lot of time free but I'd like to spend as much of it with you as I can."

Jeannie looked at her brother, momentarily speechless. She had gotten his message from a year and a half ago saying he'd wished he'd known her better, but she hadn't taken it seriously. After all, Rodney was self-absorbed and didn't have much time for people of lesser intellect. She wondered just what he'd gone through in this secret mission of his that had made him so mellow. "I'd like that," she said.

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"Rodney, what up with you?"

"Nothing," Rodney mumbled, averting his eyes so he wouldn't have to look into Katie's concerned ones. He had been looking for the right moment to propose for the last four days and it hadn't come. In the mean time, his nervousness was wreaking havoc with his ability to function. He was having trouble concentrating, was losing track of conversations going around him, and, most apparent to Katie, was having trouble performing. He had been indifferent to sex since they'd gotten to her family's house two days ago, and tonight, when she'd pinned him down for a much-needed makeout session, nothing she did could galvanise him into action.

It wasn't a problem she was unfamiliar with. When Rodney was distracted by something – usually work – he was often too stressed out for sex straight away. Katie had learnt to work with his body's – and mind's – needs to turn him on, and she had never failed. Until now. Now, she was failing miserably. Not only could she not elicit a hard-on, she could feel his kisses were only half-hearted… like his mind was elsewhere.

She gently disentangled herself from him. "Something's up," she addressed him matter-of-factly. "I know you. You're usually jumping at the opportunity of sex."

He bit his lip nervously and wiped his hands against his pants for the fifth time in an hour. He was acting like he had between their first kiss and the first time they'd had sex ; nervous, distracted, uptight. Something was _definitely_ up. "I have something I need to get off my chest," he blurted out. "And I don't know how you're gonna react." He bit his lip harder and looked into her eyes. She was attentive, and concerned. Well, at least she wouldn't laugh at him, even if she did reject him… oh, God, the thought of rejection made his stomach knot up painfully until he thought he was going to throw up. "I – I –" the seconds clicked by in agonising slowness as he grappled for the right words to say. He had rehearsed this in his head a thousand times but all his words abandoned him.

His mobile phone interrupted his fumbled attempts to propose ; it rang in his ears like a siren. Nervously, she answered it. It was General Landry. "Major Carter's discovered what she thinks is Ancient technology that can't defeat the Ori," he said. "Only she can't figure it out on her own. We'd _really_ appreciate it if you'd come in a bit earlier, that is, if you weren't doing anything else."

_No, I was only trying to propose to my girlfriend_, Rodney thought. "Can you send someone to pick me up?" he asked, and gave Landry Katie's address. He pressed the disconnect button and looked at Katie apologetically. "I'm sorry, that was Landry. He wants me at Cheyenne Mountain to look at something. It's important."

"Wait – what were you going to say?" Katie asked. Right now she wanted to throttle General Landry. She didn't care if the Ori were about to invade Earth this very minute, something was up with Rodney and he'd just been about to tell her until they'd been interrupted.

Rodney tried to smile, except it came out as more of a grimace. The moment had been lost – if it had been the right moment at all. There would be some other time. "It's not important," he said. Katie didn't buy it for a second. If it wasn't important, his hands wouldn't be clammy and his kisses wouldn't be distant.

She walked him outside and waited with him to be picked up. He talked about the Ori, and reverted to arrogant-scientist McKay. He was trying to keep his mind off his aborted proposal by focusing on his work and how brilliant he was and how he was going to save the world in the same way he saved Atlantis – He kissed her distractedly when an airforce armoured vehicle drove up. "I'll call you when I'm done," he promised. He hoped the next time he saw her the right moment would come along. He fingered the ring box in his pocket. God, he hoped the right moment came along.

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Seeing Samantha again was something of a shock to the system. It had been a year, and she looked much happier – clearly, Doctor Jackson was good for her. She looked much more beautiful when she was happy. Rodney suddenly remembered his fondness for blonds.

"Rodney," she greeted him warmly. "It's good to see you again. How life in Pegasus?"

"Not bad, given we have intergalactic vampires on our backs constantly," Rodney said, but he didn't seem to perturbed about the fact. He would never admit that he _liked_ the fact there were intergalactic vampires out there threatening their very existence, but he kind of got a kick out of knowing they were being kept so efficiently at bay in part because of his efforts.

"I'll trade your intergalactic vampires for malevolent ascended beings," Samantha said dryly. It was strange, being on equal terms with Rodney like this. The last time they had seen each other she'd been screaming at him… the time before that she'd been screaming at least… and all the times before _that_ had involved a clash of their intellect. She had found him arrogant and boorish. Now, after having spent all of a minute with him, she was seeing a warmer, more human side of him. She wished she had known _that_ Rodney McKay all along.

She felt just the slightest twinge of resentment that someone with such a lower intellect – relatively speaking – had brought out his warmer side. Rodney had never acted human because of her. He had belittled her, made her scream with passion and sulked like a little boy when she had thrown him out in the morning, but he had never acted human.

"Where's Daniel?" Rodney asked. He was aware of how much prettier she looked when she was happy, and he wanted to know where the source of that happiness was. It would make him feel better to know her boyfriend was around here somewhere. He was started to remember their night of passion together. He'd been unable to perform for Katie but he felt he would be able to perform for Samantha, and that thought scared the crap out of him.

"Offworld," Samantha said, biting her lip. She didn't like being separated from Daniel, but there was nothing they could do about it, short of _both_ staying on Earth. Which neither of them wanted to do. Landry had compromised by mostly scheduling them to be offworld at the same time – which meant they were on Earth at the same time – but she hated being separated from him for such long periods of time. Her experiences with Jack had taught her to be distrustful of a man who is quite happy to spend long periods of time away from the woman he claims to love.

"You didn't complain hard enough," Rodney said with a smirk. "Katie was determined to go offworld and I was equally determined she should either stay on Atlantis or in my line of sight. I think Elizabeth let us be on the same team just to make us stop whingeing."

Very self-depreciating, it suited him. Reminded her a little of Daniel. Maybe _that's_ what the initial attracted between her and Rodney had been ; her subconscious telling her to go for a man like Rodney then a man like Jack. It was a very pleasant change to the Rodney McKay she had known.

Suddenly she remembered the Rodney McKay who had physically thrown her off him, refusing to be seduced. Men rarely turned her down and it had been something of a turn-on. _That_ made her remember their night together, and that was getting into dangerous territory.

They stared at each other for a few moments before Rodney broke the silence with, "What have you got?"

Samantha showed him to her lab, where she had a device that looked a little like a small gun. "As far as I can tell, it's a device invented by the Ancients with the express purpose of killing the Ori."

"Not as neutral as they claimed to be, huh?" Rodney asked.

"Not when it came to their own survival," Samantha said. They had yet to work out of the Ori were related to the Ancients like the Wraith were or were completely separate entities that had reached the same place of existence, but at any rate, the Ori were enemies of the Ancients. So the Ancients had invented a few weapons of their own to deal with the Ori. "It can turn an ascended being into physical matter. It takes the process of _de_scension – what happened to Daniel – and concentrates it into a single blast. After that, you can take them out with whatever weapon happens to be available."

Rodney whistled in appreciation as to the magnitude of such a weapon. If they could mass-produce it, the Ori were history. "Anubis would have searched the ends of the universe for this," he said.

Samantha grinned. "That's actually how we found it. Daniel worked out that Anubis had been scouring the universe for a weapon that could descend the Ancients, essentially make them human. It was really plain bad luck and a little illiteracy that was the reason Anubis didn't find it – Anubis was a few characters out in his estimations. It took Daniel a year to correct the mistake and after that, it was plain sailing."

Rodney handled the weapon gently. So much potential from such a small weapon. "How do you know how it works?" he asked. She had sounded pretty certain when she had explained its use.

Samantha's grin grew wider. "We tested it out on a few of them," she admitted. Oh, that had been a good day. The Ori hadn't known what had hit them. Only now they needed to work quickly before they well and truly lost the advantage.

"If you know it works why do you need me?" he asked.

"Because it was the only one we could find, and we don't know how much power it has stored up. I need your help in reverse engineering it and making a couple of them. Well, a couple hundred would be better, but I figure once we get the first copy done we're free and clear."

"And here was me thinking you wanted me for my good looks and charming personality," Rodney muttered playfully. Secretly, he was delighted. There weren't many times when an opportunity like this came along – he got to play with alien technology years and years ahead of them _and_ do it with a woman who was almost a match for his intellect. He loved Katie, but she just wasn't a match for him.

For two days Rodney and Samantha survived on caffeine and adrenaline as they worked at the weapon, bouncing ideas off each other and working steadily towards their goal. To an outsider, it seemed like what they were doing was thoroughly boring – not to mention spoken in a different language – but they were having the time of their lives. They both forgot about their respective partners – Daniel, oblivious offworld and Katie, at her parent's home and wondering what the hell was up with Rodney – and concentrated on each other. It was true that intelligence was an aphrodisiac, at least for the two of them in that marathon merging of brains.

Finally, they thought they had a working copy. Of course, they wouldn't actually know until a team was sent through the gate to go Ori-hunting, but they were both confident it would work.

"In the meantime," Landry said as they talked excitedly between themselves in techno-babble that no-one but them could understand, "I want you both to get some rest."

"We want to go offworld and see if it works!" Rodney said indignantly. Samantha just nodded and looked cross that after all their hard work, they were being excluded from the fun.

"You're both exhausted, or you should be," Landry said. "Home. Now."

They glared at him together, and Landry hated to think what revenge their combined IQs could come up with if they so desired it – especially if the device _did_ work, and they didn't get to see the results of their efforts. But there was no arguing with Landry ; they had to be on edge, despite the fact they were both bright and energetic. That's what forty-eight hours on caffeine and adrenaline did to you. "I don't suppose you can give me a lift home?" he asked Samantha hopefully. He could have asked for an airforce car to take him home, of course, but he wanted to spent a little more time with Samantha.

"You wanna go right home or you wanna finish off a carton of beer I've got?" Samantha asked. Much to her surprise, she'd had a good time with Rodney, so much that she'd forgotten about Daniel, let alone was missing him desperately. The truth was, she loved Daniel, but he just wasn't at her level intellectually – as least not when it came to astrophysics.

He really should get back to Katie, who was no doubt frantic by now, but to his surprise, he was having a good time with Samantha – so much that he'd forgotten about Katie, let alone how nervous he was about proposing to her. The truth was, he loved Katie , but she just wasn't at his level intellectually. "Sure," he agreed. He considered it doing Katie a favour. If he went home to her now, he'd be wired and talking a mile a minute about things she didn't understand, and she'd feel bad because she didn't understand.

"Great," she said, sounding a little too enthusiastic. This _was_ Rodney, after all. Rodney who had been the bane of her existence for three years. Rodney who had been responsible for the break-up of her relationship with Jack – in a roundabout way, at least.

Oh, who was she kidding? Rodney McKay was hardly bad-looking, actually he was quite good-looking in a geeky, unassuming way. And he had a brilliant mind – more brilliant then hers, which was such a rarity that it was something of a turn on. Not to mention his newfound sense of humility.

Two hours later – and most of a carton of beer – and they were old friends. Somehow she'd migrated from being in a separate chair to curled up against him on the couch like a girlfriend – or a lover. She was starting to be very sorry that Rodney was leaving so soon, he was fun to be with. He was intelligent, he was funny… he was brilliant in bed. She was having trouble remembering the last time she'd had sex and Rodney was looking very tempting right now.

He'd always had a thing for blonds, ever since primary school. And he'd been attracted to Samantha from the first moment he laid eyes on her. She had been almost his equal and hot to boot. He loved being around her, she made him forgot about his nerves, and the fact she was incredibly hot didn't hurt.

They were drunk and the more they drank and the more they talked and connected, the more the chemistry between them was obvious. So when Rodney asked her how her relationship with Daniel was going, she made a face, hating to be reminded that she had a boyfriend and she was in a really inappropriate situation that felt so damn good. "It's really hard," she admitted. "I hate that he goes offworld. I hate that I can't be with him. I remember how many women were interested in him, he just attracted them like magnets. I hate not being there to… warn them off."

"You mean to monitor _him_?" Rodney offered. Samantha shrugged. It all meant the same to her. Rodney was drunk and had never been that insightful, but he could see her relationship with Jack had affected her trust in men. "I wouldn't worry about it. Daniel loves you."

"Jack loved me too," Samantha pointed out. The alcohol was definitely getting to her ; she was becoming maudlin.

"He couldn't have loved you, or else he was a fool," Rodney declared. God, how anyone could play around on this beautiful, brilliant creature who had somehow found her way into his arms was beyond him.

Samantha smiled, her constant insecurities soothed just a little. "You're just being nice," she accused him playfully.

"I am not," he said indignantly. What was it with people when he tried to be sensitive, they thought he was joking? "You're a fantastic woman and anyone who can't see that is a fool who doesn't deserve you."

She wasn't sure what possessed her, only that, at that very moment, it felt right. She kissed Rodney.

He didn't pull away. In the first second after her lips met his, he was shocked. A million thoughts ran though his head, most of them about Katie. After that second, any thoughts of fidelity gave way under the heat he was generating with the brilliant, beautiful woman who was all over him.

They began kissing passionately. Samantha straddled him and they started making out, all thoughts of their partners forgotten. To stop and ask questions about what each other wanted was pointless ; it was obvious from their breathless kisses and frantic attempts to get clothes off what they wanted. For a few hours, they were moth sufficiently distracted by each other to be concerned about the consequences of their actions.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two 

Samantha woke up to the sound of someone crying – a man crying. She shifted in bed and realised she was naked. And sticky. Her first thought was to blush when she recalled how wantonly she'd behaved in Rodney's arms. Her second thought was that Daniel would never forgive her, but, as callous as it sounded, that wasn't the forefront thing on her mind. Daniel wouldn't be home for a week and infidelity was hardly a new thing for her conscience to deal with ; what was important to her right now was the crying man in her living room.

Samantha slid out of bed and wrapped herself up in her robe. Her head was starting to hurt from the amount of alcohol she'd consumed, but she realised that was the least of her problems.

She had cheated on Daniel. While that little detail wasn't troubling her nearly as much as it was Rodney, her conscience couldn't entirely shrink from the fact she had cheated on Daniel. Daniel, who had patiently picked up the pieces Jack had left of her broken heart. Daniel, who had loved her unconditionally and had asked only that she remain faithful to him in return.

Samantha swallowed hard. She would detail with that later. Right now she had a bigger problem.

She walked into the living room to be greeted by Rodney, who was sitting on her couch – the one they'd been making out on a few hours ago – with his head in his hands, sobbing almost hysterically. She knelt at his feet and patiently pulled his hands away from his face so she could look into his eyes. Looking into his eyes and seeing the guilt and remorse that was flashing through them, she thought that the eyes were indeed windows to the soul. "Hey," she said kindly. "It's not that bad."

"It is," Rodney insisted tearfully. "Katie's going to kill me. And then she'll break up with me."

It was quite a shock to the system, seeing Rodney McKay so cut up about a woman. She suddenly felt very bad about the situation they'd gotten himself into. After all, _she_ had kissed him, even if he had returned her passion, _she_ had instigated it. It had been one thing to fool around with guys for whom a one-night stand would have no consequences ; it was entirely another to hook up with someone who's conscience would be heavy over it.

"Why does she have to know?" Samantha asked. Rodney looked at her in surprise. There was nothing he had hidden from Katie in the year they'd been together ; to start now was unfathomable. "And what will telling her achieve?" Samantha asked reasonably. "She'll never understand it was just a stupid thing we did when we were drunk. _She will break up with you, _Rodney. Is that worth telling her the truth?"

He started to cry again. It really was a pitiful sight, but Samantha was oddly moved by it. She'd never thought Rodney was capable of love the way he was demonstrating now. "I should never have done this," he sobbed.

She touched his cheek gently ; he recoiled from the touch, then looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he said. "It's not your fault."

"I started it," she reminded him grimly.

"I let you," he countered. He thought about all the women he'd turned down in the last year. Damnit, why couldn't he have had the restraint to turn down one more? He thought about what had led to their sleeping together, his highly-strung nerves and being able to relax with Samantha through a combination of two brilliant brains mesh and lots of alcohol… "I wanted to ask Katie to marry me," he said brokenly.

She was shocked by this admittance; she couldn't imagine Rodney being ready to commit to anyone, ever. Katie must mean the world to him. "You really love her, don't you?" she asked. He nodded. It was the surest thing he knew. "Well I love Daniel. I know I haven't given you much reason to believe me, but I do. And Daniel's put up with a lot from me, but he won't tolerate my cheating on him." She closed her eyes and thought about a life without Daniel. It wasn't a pleasant one. Her relationship with Jack had completely skewered her attitude towards fidelity, but she did love Daniel and the thought of losing him scared her. "Please, Rodney, we can't say anything to them. It won't achieve anything and… I don't want to lose Daniel."

He looked at her in surprise. He hadn't seen this side of her – his last memories of her were of her kicking him out of bed and then her trying to seduce him, both when she'd been with Jack. Maybe Daniel was a good influence on her. "I don't know if I can," he admitted. He was a terrible liar.

She cupped his head in her hands and looked him in the eye. "Please," she said, "try."

She looked as upset over the thought of losing Daniel as he was over the thought of losing Katie. And she had a point – what would telling them achieve other then them both being dumped? "OK," he agreed unhappily.

She leaned over to kiss his forehead. "Thankyou," she said quietly, and he thought he heard genuine gratitude in her voice. "I'll call you a taxi."

"Sam," he called after her when she went to call a taxi, "Sorry for being such a baby." He looked sheepish.

She smiled wryly. She realised she had become a little immune to the feelings associated with infidelity, but she recalled how she had felt when she'd first found out Jack had cheated on her, before she'd learned to take it in her stride. She'd been devastated, and that had been without the added guilt of being the one who had cheated. She imagined Rodney must be feeling the same about now. "It's OK," she said. "Just so long as it wasn't about my… abilities."

"You were fine, Sam," he said distractedly. She was pretty sure that right now she could drop her robe and he wouldn't notice. His mind was elsewhere.

She put him in a taxi with an imploring look not to say anything. She thought she had made him see reason, that unburdening his soul wouldn't achieve anything, but she wasn't sure. He looked morose, like he was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. For a moment, she kind of envied him. She realised she had become a little indifferent to the consequences of her actions. Infidelity didn't mean as much to her as it once did. She felt guiltier about that then she did about sleeping with Rodney.

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Rodney stumbled into his apartment and sank into his couch. It was just as he'd left it, although someone – probably the neighbour who had adopted his cat and was refusing to give it back – had cleaned it up, probably after all the dirty clothes he'd left had started to reek. He'd thank her for it later. Right now, he wanted to sleep.

He closed his eyes, and the first thing that hit him, other then a lingering feeling of light-headedness from all the beer he'' consumed, was the smell of Samantha and sex that clung to his clothes. For a minute he lay in his couch, unsure of what he wanted more – to sleep or to have a shower.

Having a shower eventually won out. Smelling her on his clothes and feeling her on his skin was making him feel guiltier and guiltier.

_He had cheated on Katie_. She would kill him, or at least castrate him, before she broke up with him. He wasn't sure what was worse.

He sat up, and groaned as his head attempted unsuccessfully to get a grip on the sudden movement. Oh, God, what had possessed him to do such a stupid, selfish thing? Oh, yeah. He'd been drunk and wound up tighter then a string instrument, and then along had come this beautiful, brilliant woman who's distracted him enough to make him relax for the first time in a fortnight.

_I need to have a shower. I need to sleep_. His brilliant mind attempted to create some kind of plan despite the temptation of his drunken state and insane guilt. Katie wouldn't be in Colorado for another three – no, two – days. He only needed a day to sleep off this hangover. That would be the easy part. After that would come the hard part – pretending like nothing had happened.

His stomach churned at the thought, and it wasn't just because of the alcohol in his system. Right now, seeing Katie was the last thing he wanted. She knew him better then anyone else, and he was a terrible liar. No way would he be able to look her in the eye and pretend like nothing had happened.

_I'll think about it when I feel better_, he told himself. He stumbled into the laundry and stripped off his clothes, glad to be out of them. He dumped them in the dirty laundry basket – which had been emptied, no doubt care of his neighbour, who had dumped all the dry clothes to one side – and went to have a shower.

The hot water felt good. He scrubbed hard until his skin was red. He washed his hair twice and scrubbed under his nails. As a scientist, being clean was second-nature to him – you didn't want to contaminate alien organisms with very human dirt from under your nails – but now he went way beyond that. If he could have completely scrubbed off his outer layer of skin, he would have. Everywhere Samantha had touched him he felt dirty – which was most places. When it came to the offending piece of anatomy, he cringed. Castration was looking really good about now. He grunted in pain as he forced himself to scrub particularly hard there. He welcomed the pain ; it made him feel a little better for being such a dick, a kind of penance. And here was him not believing in religion.

After half an hour in the shower Rodney finally got out, a combination of the hot water and the scrubbing making him look like a lobster. Naked, he crawled into bed for elusive sleep.

He was woken up ten hours later by knocking on the door. Groaning, he opened his eyes. His head ached, the result of not drinking enough water the night before. He hated hangovers. _Go away_, he thought. There were only a handful of people who knew he was back in Colorado, and most of them would have tried calling him on his phone. He groped for his phone and was dismayed to see there were three missed calls from Katie's home in West Virginia, plus another two from unlisted numbers which he assumed was Katie too.

He groaned. Katie wasn't due home for another day and a half. This was about the worst thing that could happen to him. Maybe if he just pretended he wasn't here, how could she know where he was?

"Rodney McKay, open up, I know you there, I've looked everyone else!" Katie yelled through the door. He groaned again. Why did he have to have a girlfriend who was so persistent and just a little territorial? Oh, yeah, because he _liked_ that she was persistent and a little territorial, it made him feel wanted and he doubted they would have gotten as far as they had if she hadn't been persistent. It was just now that his head hurt and he felt insanely guilty he wanted to be left alone.

Reluctantly, he got out of bed and pulled on a sweatshirt and tracksuit pants. He padded to the door and opened it to see Katie standing there. She was chewing on her lip, looking a little concerned. "What took you so long?" she asked. "I was ringing around everywhere look for you."

"I've been asleep," he told the truth. "I've been working for like, two days." Plus the ten or so hours he spent with Samantha, but it was definitely not a good idea to admit to that.

Immediately she looked sympathetic. Landry had told her Rodney had been with Colonel Carter, working on a piece of technology for forty-eight hours until he'd sent them home, exhausted. She'd tried calling Rodney, and gotten no answer, so she'd called Colonel Carter, who's tiredly informed her that she'd dropped Rodney home hours ago and she wanted to get back to sleep. "Sorry," she said. "I just wanted to see you and when I got here, I couldn't find you. I was worried. I'm sorry, I was being paranoid." She bit her lip and looked contrite.

Guilt flooded Rodney. Here she was, _apologising_ for thinking the wrong thing about him – when it had been the right thing. "Come in," he said, opening the door wider for her to walk in.

"It's cleaner then I anticipated," she admitted when she took in the inside of Rodney's apartment.

"That's because someone cleaned it – I suspect my neighbour, the one who stole my cat," Rodney admitted.

"Is your bed made?" Katie asked in an obvious innuendo.

Rodney swallowed hard. No way could he sleep with Katie now. He felt terrible, and it wasn't just the result of the alcohol or his little foray into self-mutilation. "I, um, I'm tired," he said lamely.

"And strung out, by the looks of it," Katie said sympathetically. Her kind voice grated on his conscience. She could tell by the way he was walking that his back was absolutely killing him. "Let me rub your back," she offered.

Normally he would have been jumping at the opportunity. He loved touching Katie, and being touched by her, but right now his guilt was eating him up. He wanted her to go but he had no idea of how to do it without her cottoning onto him. "I'll be fine, I just need to sleep," he insisted.

She looked at him, puzzled. "You can't sleep like that," she pointed out. She followed him into his room. "Lie down, I'll make it better for you," she said, practically pushing him onto the bed. She straddled him and pushed her hands under the material of his sweatshirt.

"OW!" he cried out as soon as she dug her fingers into his back. "Jesus, Katie, that _hurts_."

She frowned. Rodney was unusually wound up, even for him. Comparatively speaking, he'd been remarkably laid back the last time she'd seen him. Her frown grew deeper. The wasn't the usual wound-up Rodney. She knew what he was like when he'd been spending too much time hunched over a desk… and she knew what he was like when he'd had sex while he was wound up. It was like an athlete running a marathon without doing a warm-up, and she'd discovered in the past that it was much harder, and hurt him a lot more, to unwork all the knots in his back when that happened. Right now his back wasn't so much in knots but one solid sheet of tensed muscle. Her heart lurched. Something was very wrong.

She got off him and found her way to the laundry. There was the evidence she needed, sitting in a crumbled pile in a basket on the floor. Dropping to her knees, she picked up the dirty clothes and inhaled, recoiling at the scent she picked up. She could smell Rodney… and a woman's perfume… and sex…

Tears half-blinding her, she rushed back into the bedroom. Rodney, wondering where Katie had got to, had turned onto his back. When he saw the look on her face, and saw what she was holding, his heart fell. Why the hell hadn't he thought to run a load of washing? Oh, yeah, because he hadn't expected Katie to show up unannounced. Stupid, stupid Rodney. He should have asked Samantha for a few tips on how to get away with cheating.

"Bastard!" she yelled at him, flinging the offending clothes at him violently. "Who was it?"

He struggled to stand up. "Katie, I –" he took a step towards her.

She held up her hand in a _stop_ motion. "Don't," she ordered him, her voice dangerously low. "I don't want to hear your excuses. It was Colonel Carter, wasn't it?" she asked. Rodney was silent, not bothering not deny it. "How _could_ you?" she asked. "What _that_ what you were do uptight about? Seeing her again and getting into her pants?"

"No!" Rodney said. He wanted to blurt out the truth, that he'd been nervous because he wanted to ask her to marry him, but he didn't think she'd believe him. If it hadn't been the right time when she was looking at him adoringly, it definitely wasn't the right time when she was looking at him with betrayal. "Katie, please, calm down –"

"_Calm down?_" she asked incredulously. "You cheated on me and you want me to _calm down_? Go to hell! I should have known you weren't over her. I should have never gotten involved with you!"

She looked ready to storm out, and if she did, he doubted he'd see her again. "Katie, please," he repeated his earlier words. He grabbed her arm. She tried to shrug him off, so he closed his fingers tightly around her bicep.

"Let go of me!" she yelled. With a scream, she attacked him, pounding at his chest, scratching his face, desperate to inflict as much pain on him as he had on her. He brought his lips down on hers in a powerful kiss. He was worried she might try to bite his tongue but with a strangled whimper, she kissed him back. Struggling with her, he pulled her down, pinning her between the floor and his body. He didn't know what possessed him to behave so aggressively with her, only that he didn't want to lose her and he had this crazy idea that having sex with her would prove that to her.

She was moaning now as he trailed kisses down her neck, and had stopped fighting him, but her body was still stiff in his arms. He knew her body as well as she knew his and he knew how to get her in the mood – physically, if not mentally. A warm feeling rushed over her and Rodney slipped his hand inside her shirt and started stroking the bare skin there. Oh, God, he knew how to make her want it.

"Rodney," she said in a low voice, "if you do this I'll only hate you more."

He stopped what he was doing and relaxed his grip on her enough that she could wriggle out of his hold. "Please, Katie, I'm sorry," he begged.

She looked at him for a few seconds, torn between her emotions. On the one hand, she loved him and she believed he was sorry. But sorry for what – sleeping with Colonel Carter or being found out? On the other, she couldn't look at him without feeling an intense sense of betrayal. If it had been anyone other then Colonel Carter, it would have been easier. But she had always been insecure when it came to that woman, and Rodney's actions had only confirmed her insecurities.

How could she possibly be with him when the first opportunity he had been given to be with Colonel Carter, he had taken?

"Don't," she said quietly. "I don't want to hear it." And with that she left his apartment, leaving him absolutely gutted.

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He didn't have any communication with her for three days, between her leaving his apartment and their scheduled departure on the Daedalus. He wasn't sure if she would even be coming back to Atlantis, at least not with him. With the regular trips the ship was making now, she could come back another time. "I have work on Atlantis, I'm not putting it on hold for _you_," she snarled when he said as much. "_You_ should be staying."

"My work is more important then yours!" He shot back automatically. There were some things that would never change, and Rodney McKay would always be a little arrogant. His face softened. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

He'd hoped that yet another apology would go down well, but no such luck. "Damn right," she snapped. Where once she'd found his ingrained arrogance a little endearing, now she added it to the pile of things she resented about him. Actually, there was really only one – the fact he'd slept with Colonel Carter. The rest, she didn't care about. She wouldn't even have cared if it had been anyone _but_ Colonel Carter.

What broke her heart was how easily distracted he had been by the woman. What did she have that made her such hot shit? Why did she just have to spend a few hours with Rodney and achieve what no other woman could – getting him to forget about Katie? Because that's what he'd done, he'd forgotten about her when he'd decided to sleep with Samantha. She _knew_ he could resist the brilliant astrophysicist, he had done so before. So why now?

_Because he doesn't love you. Because it was easy to resist her when everything was new and exciting. _She remembered how much fun their relationship had been in the early days, how easy, how _right_. It had been absolutely perfect until she'd returned with him to Earth. Then he'd become nervous, uptight, she'd been unable to settle him.

Because he'd been thinking of Colonel Carter. That was the conclusion she had come to. It was the only one that fit. Everytime she thought about it, her heart broke. She had almost considered staying behind and going to Atlantis on the next run, but she decided Rodney wasn't going to get the better of her _that_ easily. Let _him_ be the one to stay behind, if he couldn't handle being with her.

"Katie, please," he begged.

She glared at him. Like a fear tears and a few pleas were going to make her change her mind. She believed he was genuinely sorry – but sorry he had cheated on her or sorry he'd been caught out, she didn't know. And she didn't care to find out, she didn't care to risk her heart a second time. "Don't," she said coldly. "I told you before, I don't want to hear it."

"I'm sorry," he whispered tearfully.

"_DON"T!_" she screamed. She didn't want to hear it because she was afraid if she heard it enough, she would forgive him. And she was not going to forgive him. "Don't you get it, Rodney? _You slept with her. You cheated on me_. That's it, you don't get a second chance." And with that, she moved to the furtherest point away from Rodney that she could.

From the next room, Daniel listened to their entire conversation.

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A few days later, when Samantha returned from a mission, Daniel took the first opportunity to get her alone – in a storage room, no less, but it was a private space.

Samantha, who had been looking forward to seeing Daniel again even more since her night with Rodney, was perplexed by the distance he was putting between them. They had been apart for almost two weeks, first he'd been on a mission then she'd been sent on a quick mission to witness the effectiveness of the weapon she and Rodney had reversed engineered. She had been particularly proud of herself at that moment, but it meant she had missed Daniel's return, and she had been longing to see him again.

She had missed him dearly, and witnessing Rodney's guilt over their night together had made her think long and hard about her attitude towards fidelity. Her relationship with Jack had made her somewhat blasé about it, and seeing how guilty Rodney felt had reminded her of her own lost feelings towards the subject. Too often, she had allowed herself to think about other men, be attracted to other men, flirt with that line between fidelity and infidelity until it had been easy to cross it because she'd already laid herself the foundations. And she realised now how wrong that was, and she knew she wanted to be with Daniel and only Daniel.

She would never tell him, of course. She had been telling the truth to Rodney when she'd said it would achieve nothing but ruin both their relationships. She figured what mattered was that she had learned her lesson before it did any real harm. Now she could move forward in her relationship with Daniel. She realised how much she loved him, how much she _trusted_ him. Christ, she should have learned that in the two and a half years he'd been faithful to Sha're, Hathor notwithstanding, even though he'd known she wasn't really his wife anymore.

She had been stupid, had given into her impulses, and she was glad she had realised that before it was too late.

She smiled flirtatiously at Daniel. "I know you want me," she purred, "but a storage room?"

He bit his lip. What he had to say he _really_ didn't want to bring it up. He knew he could be opening a can of worms and what would that achieve other then a lot of unhappiness? But he _couldn't_ not say anything, it would always be eating him up otherwise. "Did you know McKay and Katie have broken up?" he asked. He could never bring himself to think of the arrogant scientist as anything other then _McKay_, no matter how much Samantha said he really was a nice enough person underneath.

He could see it in her eyes. She had known, that wasn't surprise that had registered. It was _fear_. "No," she said as evenly as she could, given Daniel had just delivered a sucker punch. They had broken up? It could only be about one thing. "Why?"

"I got the impression he cheated on her."

There was the reaction he'd been anticipating, and dreading. She paled. Not surprise, not gossipy interest, she _paled_, like she was _afraid_ of something. He continued. "And it got me thinking… she's so devoted to him, I'm sure even she'd forgive him cheating on her… except with one person."

He stared straight at her. She trembled. Daniel knew. He had known all along, or at least he'd suspected. This exchange had merely been him fishing for the truth. And she'd given it to him, with her body language. She couldn't hide anything from him, he knew her to well.

His stare became a glare as total comprehension had come to him. He had been hoping against hope that he somehow had it wrong, that he'd misheard the conversation or it had been someone else McKay had slept with. But no. It had been Samantha.

He closed the distance between them in two steps and slapped her hard across the face, causing her to stumble and reel back. Daniel had never hit her before, Daniel had never hit a woman before, but then, Daniel had never been faced with a situation like this before.

Samantha had cheated on him. With the same guy that had caused her breakup with Jack. Some things some people just never learn. "Whore!" he screamed, the remains of his composure threatening to disintegrate completely in the face of her betrayal. He had honestly thought things would be different between them, that if he showed her the love and fidelity that had been lacking in her relationship with Jack, she'd return the sentiments. But no.

He should have let Jack get back with her before he'd been stupid enough to get involved.

Samantha's hand went to her cheek, which she knew was going to hurt for a while. Daniel could throw a mean blow, she'd witnessed that enough times, but she had never expected to be on the receiving end of such a blow. "I can explain!" she said desperately. It couldn't be happening – Daniel couldn't be finding out the truth, couldn't be leaving her, not after she'd realised how much she loved him.

She could _explain?_ "What, like you fell on him when you were both naked?" Daniel asked with cutting sarcasm. "Save it for someone who cares." And with that he stormed out of the room before she could see him cry.

Samantha watched him go. She couldn't believe what had happened. How had Katie found out? Probably he'd blurted it out in a fit of remorse. Or it had been written all over his face, she was insightful enough to read him. For a moment, Samantha felt a flash of irritation towards Rodney. Why couldn't he keep his damn feelings to himself, at least for something as important as this? Then she admitted to herself that she couldn't hold Rodney's actions against him. She had been equally as guilty as he was of infidelity, and he had cracked easier then she would have done – or else, he loved Katie more so his guilt was greater. Either way, what was done was done and she couldn't hold it against him for the part he'd played in their being found out.

No, what mattered now was that Daniel had walked out on her and she didn't know if he could find it in his heart to forgive her. Fidelity was a big thing with him – _both ways_ – she should have known that from the way he acted over Sha're. But no, she'd had to be a fool, she'd had to let her insecurities get the better of her. And now Daniel had left.

Samantha leaned against a wall and sobbed.

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Everyone on Atlantis noticed a change in Rodney – and not for the better. Those who had been there for the first year and remembered his arrogant snarkiness saw a return to form – only much, much worse. He was tired and miserable, and he lashed out at anyone who dared to get within shouting distance of him. He was creating a huge drain on the morale of Atlantis and several people were contemplating a return to Earth, opportunity of a lifetime be damned.

Rodney's ongoing terrible mood was a good indication that something was seriously wrong with his relationship with Katie – that, and the fact that they were never seen together anymore. And while she wasn't advertising her unhappiness the way he was, by screaming at anyone he saw fit to, it was obvious she was less then happy these days too.

The gossip mills kicked into overdrive. Rodney and Katie were an Atlantis institution, if nothing else because she was considered a miracle worker for the calmness she had brought to his life – and the lives of everyone at Atlantis as a flow-on effect. They had left Atlantis in high spirits. What had happened to make their relationship sour?

It had to be something he had done, some people claimed. Katie was exception well-liked and everyone agreed that there was no way _she_ could wreck the relationship in a matter of weeks. Whereas that was something those who knew Rodney in the early days knew he was perfectly capable of doing.

Which brought people to the obvious question – what had he done? The obvious answer was to cheat on her, but that seemed unlikely. A few more mean-spirited pointed out that, in their opinions, Rodney had been supremely lucky in getting Katie to sleep with him, what chance did he have of convincing someone else to? Most likely, she'd just gotten fed up with his snarkiness and tantrums – which was kind of a pity for the rest of Atlantis, because she had been the only thing holding Rodney's snarkiness and tantrums at bay.

After a week went by and it became clear that Rodney and Katie were not going to reconcile their differences on their own, Elizabeth decided to intervene. Rodney wasn't telling anyone what had happened on Earth, but she hoped he would tell her. They had a history together and she hoped that would make him open up where he'd been closing down in the fact of all the gossip circling Atlantis at the moment.

She found him in his office, looking tired and worn out. His breakup with Katie had physically affected him. "You look terrible," she told him bluntly.

He looked up and tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm working," he said. He'd thrown himself into his work upon arriving back at Atlantis, and while he was making serious inroads in technology, he was miserable the rest of the time – and taking it out on everyone else.

"I thought you might like to talk," Elizabeth offered.

He was surprised it had taken her this long – far longer then all the gossips who'd tried pumping him for information. Like he was going to advertise his stupidity. He'd been beating himself up nonstop ever since he'd slept with Samantha, cursing himself for being so foolish for giving into his hormones. And what had it achieved? Katie hated him. She cut him off coolly whenever he tried to speak to him, much to his humiliation – she didn't care if they were alone or had an audience. He had started leaving her alone rather then be publicly humiliated again. But it didn't stop his heart from aching whenever he saw her, especially when he saw her with another man. Katie had always been popular, but he'd never realised just how many male friends she had until now. He wanted to kill every last one of them. The main thing that stopped him was that she would hate him even more for it.

"I'm fine," he said, turning back to the Ancient device he was studying.

"You always were a terrible liar," Elizabeth remarked.

His face flushed. Of course he was a terrible liar. He'd known he couldn't keep something from Katie, she knew him too well. If it hadn't been the tightness of his back that had given him away, it would have been something else. "I don't want to talk about it," he muttered.

"You _need_ to talk about it," Elizabeth pressed. "You're miserable, Katie's miserable, you're making everyone who comes into contact with you miserable. What the hell happened? We're friends, Rodney, you can tell me. You know I don't gossip."

Rodney's eyes welled up for the countless time since Katie had walked out on him. He felt pathetic. But he took some comfort from the sympathetic way Elizabeth was looking at him. He could tell Elizabeth. Elizabeth was his friend, and she didn't gossip.

"I slept with Sam Carter," he blurted out.

Elizabeth stared at him incredulously. Of all the stupid, self-absorbed things Rodney could have done, that was the stupidest and most self-absorbed. There had been rumours of Rodney cheating on Katie floating around, but Elizabeth hadn't taken them seriously. Rodney was absolutely devoted to Katie and, to be honest, there were very few people who could see beyond the awkward fumbling that was Rodney's ability to socialise.

Unfortunately, Samantha Carter was apparently on of them. Elizabeth was sorely tempted to hit Rodney right now. Of all the people he had to cheat on Katie with, _Samantha Carter?_ No wonder Katie was so angry at him. Elizabeth had never really delved into the subject with Katie, but she had always gotten the impression that the woman was insecure when it came to Rodney's history with Samantha. She could blame her. For a long time, Samantha had been Rodney's ultimate fantasy – brilliant, beautiful, blond. A one-night stand with a stranger she may have been able to overlook, but a one-night stand with Samantha suggested he was still infatuated with her. "Rodney…" she said, her disappointment in him clear in her voice.

Rodney cringed. "There is nothing you can say that will make me feel worse then I already do," he said, and Elizabeth believed him. "I don't suppose _you_ can talk to her for me?" he asked hopefully. At the very least, Katie wouldn't dare cut Elizabeth off in mid-sentence.

Elizabeth would dream of speaking to Katie with an audience. She was dubious that her input could help things, but maybe the perspective from someone like Elizabeth could help away her.

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Katie smiled when she saw Elizabeth. She had immediately taken to the diplomat who she thought was doing an excellent job of running Atlantis. She didn't get to spend as much time professionally as she would have liked, as she was quite a bit down the Atlantis food chain and therefor not someone Elizabeth spent a lot of time with when it came to running and defending Atlantis. "Do you need something?" she asked.

"Kind of," Elizabeth said. "I need to talk to you about Rodney."

The smile immediately disappeared from Katie's face. That was definitely something she didn't want to talk about. Everyone had been asking about it and she hadn't said anything. Rodney had hurt her deeply but she had too much class to rubbish him to anyone who cared to listen.

Her heart broke every time she thought about his infidelity, which was often. She couldn't help herself. She would be socialising, working, sleeping, and the thought would creep into her mind. She felt deeply betrayed that Rodney had so easily given into temptation. And it wasn't even that he had cheated on her – it was that he had cheated on her with Colonel Carter. The woman who had constantly preoccupied him, despite the shabby way she hated treated him, for three years. Katie had thought Rodney was over her, but by sleeping with her, he had proved that he wasn't. The circumstances didn't matter. What mattered was pretty much the first opportunity he'd been given, he'd taken.

If it had been a stranger in a bar, she would have understood that better. She would have been furious, she would have made him grovel, but she would have forgiven it eventually because she would have understood that it had just been about sex. But Rodney and Colonel Carter was not just about sex – it was about his ongoing infatuation with her, their shared brilliance and chemistry. She had been the only woman he'd ever really been hung up on. And it looked like he still was.

And if he was still hung up on Colonel Carter, then damned if Katie was going to hang around and be second choice. Oh, she realised he was sorry. Maybe he was even sorry he had done it, instead of just sorry that he'd been caught. But him being sorry didn't chance the fact that he'd been presented with an opportunity to sleep with Colonel Carter, and he'd forgotten all about his so-called girlfriend.

"I've got nothing to say," Katie said softly. "We broke up. Why is it such a big deal?"

"Because Rodney's been even more miserable then ever since you broke up," Elizabeth said. "It's my job to keep the peace here at Atlantis – both between worlds and in Atlantis itself. And Rodney's been making everyone as miserable as he is."

"So what, I should get back with him for the sake of Atlantis?" Katie asked sarcastically.

"Of course not. I just wanted to know if there's any hope of a reconciliation. He told me about him and Colonel Carter," Elizabeth added.

"So you can understand how I feel, then," Katie countered.

"If you mean that it wasn't just about him cheating, then yes I can," Elizabeth admitted. "But is one night _really_ worth walking away from a relationship like yours? I've seen how happy he makes you and, if I'm not mistaken, he makes _you_ pretty happy, too."

Katie turned her back to Elizabeth, not wanting the older woman to see that her words had a strong current of truth to them. Rodney _did_ make her happy, and she was miserable without him, although she was hiding it very well. But there was something bigger then simple happiness at stake here. Pride, respect, _trust_. If she and Rodney were to get back together, she didn't think she could ever truly relax knowing Colonel Carter was out there somewhere. True, she would be on the other side of the galaxy, but it was the principle of the matter. "I won't be anyone's second choice," she informed Elizabeth, and Elizabeth could tell from Katie's tone that she had made up her mind and there was no dissuading her.

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Back on Earth, their high levels of professionalism demanded that Samantha and Daniel conduct a civil relationship, at least as far as work was concerned. To be bitter would just wreak havoc on the environment and lead to one of them being made to leave – and since neither of them wanted to risk being the one chosen, the only alternative was to be professional.

They found it easier then expected. After all, they had been friends for far longer then they had been a couple, and they found it easy to slip into something that felt akin to friendship. It wasn't close in its emotional intimacy to when they'd been part of the same team, but that was to be expected, you couldn't get together, break up and have been on separate teams all that time and expect things to go back to normal. But they had always respected each other professionally, and that professional respect couldn't be voided by a personal falling out.

It helped that Samantha wasn't pushing Daniel for a reconciliation. She had taken Carolyn Lam's advice that Daniel still loved her but was hurting badly and pushing for a reconciliation was going to achieve nothing but drive him away further. So she was biding her time, hoping he would forgive her eventually.

In the mean time, they got on well – damn well, everyone said, for the fact they'd broken up. There were the usual rumours about _why_ they'd broken up, and a few stabs in the dark that it might have something to do with Doctor McKay, but Daniel and Samantha both had too much class to blab to the entire world. So the entire world, for the most part, was left in the dark.

Samantha did confide in Carolyn, with whom she'd become quite good friends. She had never thought she could become friends with the woman she'd initially seen at Janet's replacement, but in the last year they had become quite close. Carolyn was one of the few people who knew of the real reason she and Daniel had broken up. Initially, she had been quite shocked that Samantha would do such a thing, but over time she'd come to accept it had been a mistake fuelled by her insecurities. There were times when she beat herself up savagely over her stupidity – if only she'd been secure in her relationship with Daniel _before_ it had felt right to kiss Rodney.

But then, she had to conceded, it had been her night spent with Rodney that had helped her see how much Daniel loved her, and how much she loved him. Rodney might have been the only person she'd ever felt intellectually challenged by, and he might be great in bed, but he wasn't Daniel, and it had taken sleeping with him to realise that. That was a cruel irony. It didn't seem fair that, just when she felt she could be truly secure with Daniel, she lost him.

At least she hadn't lost him entirely. They were still friends, and she often consoled herself with that. Although it was hard to when the new round of gossip started about whatever pretty young female Daniel was seeing this week. At least it was a _new_ pretty young female every week, so even if he did actually go out with them, they didn't last too long. That brought a great deal of comfort to Samantha.

A few months passed, and they became closer. It was obvious they were still very attracted to each other and still had an excellent camaraderie. They drifted into the habit of spending more and more time with each other, first under the pretence of work, then they stopped pretending all together and started socialising one-on-one. Like they were dating. Except they were most emphatically _not_ dating, Daniel kept insisting. Samantha kept her peace.

They danced closer and closer to the subject of their relationship – and their breakup – never quite getting to it. There were so many times Daniel wanted to say something but he was afraid of what he might hear. So he put it off. And he put it off again. And again. And all the while, he became closer and more attracted to Samantha.

One night they were by themselves at her house. She always insisted he come to her house, it was bigger and, more to the point, it was _cleaner_. He'd always felt a little uncomfortable being in her house as her friend but not her boyfriend. Like he should be something more.

The truth was, he _wanted_ to be something more. He had missed Samantha a great deal. He _wanted_ to be with her again. But he didn't know if he could trust her.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked suddenly, when there was a lull in the conversation.

She looked at him blankly. "Sorry?" she asked. The suddenness of his question had taken her by surprise, she wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about – although the grave look in his eyes made her think it was something serious – and personal. Her heart fluttered, just a little. She told herself not to get her hopes up.

"What did I do wrong… that you slept with McKay?" Daniel clarified.

Samantha looked at him with deep compassion. He thought he had done something _wrong?_ That was just the kind of guy Daniel was. Why, oh why had she been such a fool? "Daniel, you didn't –" she started to say, but he cut her off.

"Was I not masculine enough?" he asked, having often thought that she was really looking for another Jack. "Was I not there for you? Was I not good enough in bed?" Ever since their breakup, he had been asking himself these questions, wondering what it had been that had driven her into McKay's arms.

Samantha felt tears prick her eyes. She felt a deep-rooted sense of guilt for what Daniel was going through. Of _course_ Daniel would try and figure out what he'd done, he was that kind of person. It was why she loved him. "It wasn't your fault," she said.

"Then what?" Daniel demanded. "What the hell was it?"

"It was me," Samantha admitted in a small voice. "I was so insecure – I worked by your side for eight years, I saw how many women threw themselves at you." Gorgeous women who were sometimes twenty years younger then Samantha. "It drove me crazy that you were out there, attracting all those women, and I wasn't there to warn them off."

"You mean monitor me?" Daniel corrected, mirroring Rodney's words. The two men were more alike then Daniel cared to admit. Samantha hadn't referred to her relationship with Jack, but Daniel knew her well enough to know it had affected her ability to trust her boyfriends. He supposed it made sense that she was distrustful, but it still cut him to the bone. Especially since, rather then talk to him about it, she had slept with someone else.

Samantha nodded shamefully. "Yes," she admitted.

"I never cheated on you, Sam," Daniel said in a low voice that didn't hide his deep hurt. Despite all her lack of faith, he had never cheated on her – which was more then could be said for her.

Samantha made no attempt to stop her tears from falling. "I know," she said. "I knew that the morning after. When I first saw you, after I came back from that mission – I was so happy to see you, I finally felt secure. At then… you'd found out."

"You were never going to tell me," Daniel said flatly.

"What good would it have achieved?" Samantha asked. "I wasn't going to do it again – I really hope you'll believe me when I say that. I had realised how much I loved you – and trusted you – and telling you wouldn't have achieved anything… except make you break up with me. Honestly, would you have reacted any differently if I'd told you?"

"No," Daniel admitted. "But it makes me feel like I can't trust you, like everytime I go on a mission I'll be wondering if you're with someone else."

"That's something you'll have to work out for yourself," Samantha said. There was no point in giving him promise of fidelity ; he could either trust her or he couldn't, and if he couldn't, talking would achieve nothing.

So he did think about it. He knew, in his heart, that what she had done had been a mistake, temptation that she'd given into in a moment of weakness and insecurity. He had to admit, there had been times he had been tempted, particularly when he was on a long mission and there was a nubile twentysomething trying to seduce him – something that happened far more then he told Samantha about. In a way, that was him doing the same thing she had done in not planning to tell him about McKay – what would the truth have achieved? No, there had been times he had been tempted, and while he had never acted on his temptations, he could almost understand why Samantha had. And he understood that it was a one-of mistake she had made because she'd been insecure – and drunk – and not because she was a compulsive cheater.

He showed up on her doorstep two days after their conversation. "If you do it again, that's it," he warned.

Samantha thought about making a crack about Rodney being on the other side of the known galaxy, it was unlikely they would ever have the opportunity, but she decided against it. Daniel didn't look like he was in the mood for jokes about fidelity. "I know," she said. She knew it was a moot point ; she knew she wasn't going to cheat on him again.

"You know you can trust me, don't you?" he asked, searching her eyes for sincere confirmation.

She nodded. "I know. I'm sorry, Daniel." She wanted to throw herself into his arms but she knew he needed to set the pace.

"I don't want it brought up again."

She nodded again. She was only too happy for it to be put in the past and never referred to again.

"Then…" Daniel looked nervous. He leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the lips before back away.

Samantha couldn't help but smile. It was very much in Daniel's character to be unsure about what to do now. "Do you call that a kiss?" she scoffed.

Daniel raised one eyebrow. "Are you challenging my kissing ability?" he asked. There was a playful tone in his voice. They were both looking for an excuse to move things along.

Samantha smirked. "Absolutely," she said, although she would never question Daniel's kissing ability. He had left her shivering from the impact of his kisses too often for her to question his ability.

"In that case then…" Daniel said, and he stepped right up to Samantha and kissed her deeply. It was a possessive, passionate kiss, and Samantha returned in kind. Their hands were all over each other and their wasn't a bit of space between them. Hurriedly, Daniel shut the door behind him so he could conduct his reconciliation with Samantha in private.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

Samantha snuggled into Daniel's arms, enjoying the afterglow of fantastic sex. It had been a month since their reconciliation, and things were terrific. She realised just how much she had missed him, now that she had him back in her life. For the two months they had been apart, she had forced herself to get on with life without him. Now that they were back together, she couldn't imagine how she'd ever thought that possible.

Daniel idly ran his fingers down her back. No-one knew her the way Daniel did. She hoped this never ended.

A thought occurred to her, reminding that it would have to end, at least for a little while. She had put of telling Daniel about Elizabeth Weir's request, knowing he would have an absolute shit fit over it. "Daniel?" she asked casually.

"Hmm-hmmm?" he answered, distracted by his fascination with the smooth skin on her back. But then, most things about her – especially her body – fascinated him. He hadn't been with anyone during their breakup, hadn't been interested in anyone, hadn't been able to bring himself to pursue anyone even as a revenge thing, and now that he was back with Samantha, he was glad he hadn't. And glad she hadn't been with anyone else either, even though he wouldn't have held that against her. It was kind of like they'd been faithful to each other even when they hadn't been together.

If she'd known what he was thinking, she may have put of telling Daniel for another time. "I got a message from Doctor Weir. She wants me to go to Atlantis."

Daniel stopping tracing patterns on her back. "Why?" he asked suspiciously.

Samantha squirmed. Here came the hard part. "Um… apparently Rodney's absolutely miserable without Katie, and making everyone else miserable, and Weir seems to think I can do something about it."

"And what did you tell her?"

Samantha squirmed some more. "I told her I'd be on the next run the Daedalus made," she admitted.

"You agreed to go without even telling me?" Daniel clarified.

"Um…yes," Samantha admitted.

"You agreed to interfere in the life of the man who broke us up?"

"Well, when you put it like _that_," Samantha said. This was why she hadn't wanted to say anything to Daniel. Unfortunately, it was going to be kind of hard to slip away to Pegasus without her absence being noticed.

"We agreed we wouldn't mention it anymore," Daniel reminded her.

"I know… I felt bad. I mean, we got back together and… she means the world to him, Daniel, he was absolutely hysterical with guilt over it." Not to mention the little detail that she had started it – she had kissed Rodney, not the other way around. She'd never mentioned that to Daniel and wasn't about to now. But she felt like, having instigated their night together, she should at least try and help them reconcile – especially since she and Daniel had.

"That's his problem," Daniel said. He didn't meant to be callous, it certainly wasn't his nature, but the idea of Samantha seeing McKay again…"I don't want you to go."

"It's my decision," Samantha reminded him.

"Maybe… but it's my decision whether or not I want to be your boyfriend when you get back," Daniel retorted.

Samantha's eyes widened in surprise. She had expected a negative response from Daniel, but not this. "Are you _threatening_ me?" she asked.

"Not at all. I'm telling you what's going to happen if you see him again. Jesus Christ, Sam, the last time you were alone with him you slept with him. How do you think I'm going to feel, knowing the same thing could happen all over again? No, we agreed to put it behind us. I can't stop you from going, and I know you'll do what you think is best, but if you go, I'm not going to be here for you when you get back."

She realised he was deadly serious. She couldn't entirely blame him. After all, of the last three times she had seen Rodney, twice she had slept with him and the third she had tried to. That wasn't exactly a good foundation to plead good intentions from. But it was something she felt she had an obligation to do. Things had worked out for her and Daniel and if her input could help Rodney and Katie, well, she should give it. But then, Daniel was serious about leaving her if she went to Atlantis, and as obligated as she felt towards Rodney, she was going to put her own relationship first.

There was, however, a third alternative. "Why don't you come with me?" she suggested. "You didn't really get to check things out the last time you were there and it would give you peace of mind. And… I really feel like this is something I should do," she added, knowing Daniel had always been a sucker for the human conscience.

Daniel only had to think about it for a minute. He'd always been interested in Atlantis, but circumstances had meant he'd never gotten to fully check the place out. He _would_ like to go again, and he could see Samantha genuinely felt guilty about McKay and Katie breaking up. He supposed he should admire that in her, despite the fact it was something he wanted to put behind them. "OK," he agreed, a little reluctantly, because he really wasn't comfortable with Samantha seeing McKay again. The man had been the only time Samantha had given into temptation, and Daniel had quite liked the idea that he was residing on the other side of the universe.

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With a week, they were on the Daedalus, headed for Atlantis. Daniel was surprised at how much he was looking forward to it, despite his obvious apprehensions. Atlantis had always fascinated him and if it wasn't for Samantha, he would seriously consider transferring there.

"I'm so glad you came," Elizabeth said when Daniel and Samantha arrived. She looked about ready to hug Samantha. She was at her wits' end with Rodney and Katie and although Samantha's involvement was a long shot, it was the only shot they had at the moment. Elizabeth glanced over and Daniel and wondered if the archaeologist had come simply to keep an eye on his girlfriend. Well, it couldn't hurt to have him here – both for his knowledge and interest in Atlantis, and the fact that Katie would be less suspicious of Samantha's motives with Daniel in tow.

Elizabeth had to admit, it was a pretty weak plan. After all, the last time Samantha had come to Atlantis, she had tried to seduce Rodney – which, in turn, had only brought him and Katie closer together, so maybe there was hope yet. And besides, no-one had been able to think of anything better. The idea was that Samantha would talk to Katie personally. Elizabeth reasoned Katie would be more likely to believe that there was nothing between Samantha and Rodney other then drunken last if she heard it from Samantha, rather then hearing it from Rodney or Elizabeth, both of whom had ulterior motives.

And, Elizabeth consoled herself, if things didn't work out, then at least they had the loan of two brilliant minds for a little while.

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Katie looked none too happy to see Samantha. "I thought your being here was just a rumour," she said when she saw the blond woman. "Come to seduce Rodney again? He's all yours." She didn't stop fiddling with her samples, pretending as she was to be engrossed in her work.

Samantha immediately noticed how bitter Katie still sounded, even after over two months of being broken up with Rodney. Since Katie didn't seem the type to hold grudges because she got a kick out of being embittered, Samantha reasoned she remained bitter because she remained in love with Rodney. That could only be a good thing.

"I'm not here to seduce Rodney," she said. She added, "Daniel came as well to make sure of that."

"Then that makes two of us who don't trust you together," Katie remarked. "Not that I care. Rodney can screw who he likes."

"I got the distinct feeling from the misery he's wreaking that he only wants you," Samantha pointed out. She had been in Atlantis for all of a day and she could see what Elizabeth meant about a bad vibe. He yelled at everyone, lost his temper over the smallest mistake. When he'd recognised her, he'd scowled hatefully. She hadn't seen him since, so she figured he was making an effort to avoid her. May as well tell Katie that, too.

"I don't care, he had his chance," Katie said, although not nearly as convincing as she had sounded a minute ago – and she hadn't sounded too convincing even then. She had been secretly flattered that Elizabeth had decided Rodney was miserable enough to make such a desperate attempt at reconciliation. And pleased that Rodney was especially displeased to see Samantha, over and above his usual displeasure with having to deal with people these days.

"You know," Samantha said, deciding to go for broke. "He wanted to ask you to marry him."

Katie stopped fiddling with her samples and faced Samantha. _Bingo!_ Samantha thought, pleased. "You made that up," she accused Samantha.

"Good thing I thought to go through his room, then," Samantha said. She had spoken to Jeannie McKay before she'd left Earth, and Rodney's sister had confirmed that he'd wanted to ask Katie to marry him, had retrieved their mother's engagement ring for the occasion. Although she hadn't heard anything further (Samantha decided not to enlighten her as to what had transpired between her and Rodney and Rodney and Katie), she assumed at the very least Rodney still had the ring. Samantha came to the same conclusion, and the obvious place it would be was in his room. In some place really obvious, like his chest of drawers, because no-one would dare go through Rodney's personal stuff, not in the ongoing mood he was in these days. She had felt a little bad going through his stuff but she justified it, telling herself it was for the much greater good.

She pulled a small box out of her pocket and handed it to Katie. She knew if Katie truly didn't care, she would have shown no interest in it. But she did. In fact, she seemed quite eager to see it. Inside with a beautiful ring, a white-and-yellow gold band with three diamonds and two sapphires set into it. It was beautiful and expensive looking without being gaudy. Whatever faults McKay Senior had been lacking as a parent, he couldn't be faulted for his taste in jewellery. "It was his mother's, you know," she told Katie, who couldn't take her eyes off the ring. "I got the impression he didn't want to give you a store-bought ring, too impersonal. Tell me – did he seem nervous at all when you got to Earth?"

Finally, Katie tore her eyes from the ring. "I thought it was because of you," she said, her voice wavering. Right now, she didn't know what to think. Her assumption that Rodney had been preoccupied with seeing Samantha had been based on his aloof behaviour in the days leading up to his being called to Cheyenne Mountain. And now Samantha was telling her he'd been working himself in knots because he'd wanted to ask her to marry him!

Samantha could see Katie was struggling with her thoughts. "He really loves you," she told the botanist. "What happened between us – we were both really drunk and on cloud nine because we'd done something huge with the Ancient weapon – we've been able to kill every Ori we've come across."

"I didn't know about that," Katie admitted.

_Of course you wouldn't_, Samantha agreed silently. _You haven't given him the opportunity to say anything. _But she figured it was best not to get Katie on the defensive so she let it go. "As I was saying – we were drunk and high and…" she trailled off, thinking about her part in the sorry debacle. "This is something I haven't told Daniel, so I'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself, but I started it," she admitted. "I was feeling insecure and he was there, so I kissed him. I think he was really nervous about asking you to marry him and his nervousness manifested itself in a really bad way."

"Rodney had lots of women hitting on him, he didn't sleep with any of them," Katie pointed out, but she didn't sound too convinced, and she'd gone back to looking at the engagement ring. Had he really wanted to propose to her? Had he really gone all the way back to Earth to get exactly the ring he wanted? And not just any old ring, but one that had a personal history for him.

"I guess that's something you'll have to decide for yourself," Samantha conceded. "I'll leave you to get back to your work." _And think about what I've just told you_. She closed the ring box, and could see the disappointment in Katie's eyes. Well, Katie could be disappointed. Samantha had to get the ring back to its place before Rodney noticed it was gone.

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Katie wasn't sure exactly what led her to Rodney's room later that day, but she ended up there. She let herself in and was immediately struck by the familiarity of it. How many nights had she spent in this room, how many hours? How many times had she and Rodney made love here? How many –

"Katie," Rodney said in surprise when he entered his room to find his ex-girlfriend there like she belonged. Which he wished every day, ever hour, every minute that she still did, but unfortunately, she didn't – she had made that very clear. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh –" Katie stammered, at a loss for words. She didn't know what she was doing here. She didn't want to reconcile with Rodney, not yet, but she had wanted to see him. "I – I –"

Rodney rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. He hurt all the time these days, and his single attempt at seeing one of the professional masseurs that were on the Atlantis staff had ended as badly as his childhood experience. Seeing Katie was not helping matters, only making him sad and stressed out. "Spit it out or let me get some rest," he said shortly. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh, certainly not in front of Katie, but he was tired and sore and if she had come to have a go at him over something he was prepared to throw her out.

Katie noticed how stressed out he looked. Probably his back, she surmised, without her he'd just be letting it get more and more wound up. It had been three months since they had left Atlantis, three months since he'd been relaxed enough to let her give him a proper massage, which probably meant it had been three months since he'd been pain free. "Here, let me…" she murmured, slipping behind Rodney so she could feel his back. He winced when her fingers pressed into his aching muscles. She didn't know how he had let it get this bad. He'd probably just gotten used to the pain, after a fashion. Not very well, though, because he looked tired, he probably wasn't sleeping, and a light touch and made him wince. "Take your shirt off and lie face down," she instructed him briskly.

"I don't need your help," he said. It took all his willpower to turn her down. He had thought often about Katie's touch, even a platonic massage was sounding good about now.

She gave him a no-nonsense look. "You're in pain, and I bet you're not sleeping," she surmised. He didn't bother to hide it. "So it's settled . Take off your shirt and lie on the bed."

Well, who was he to argue with her when she was being like that? Obediently, he slipped off his shirt and she was reminded that he had a remarkably good physique for the fact he was a workaholic scientist. He lay on his bed face-down as Katie had instructed. She straddled him, and he was forced to tell himself it was not just like old times. If these were old times, he could look forward to her trailing kisses down his spine the way he liked after she was done until he was completely at her mercy… "OWWW!" he cried, loudly and hostilely, when her fingers dug into his aching muscles, dragging him back to the present. "You did that to get back at me!" he accused her.

"If I wanted to get back at you," she informed him sweetly as she dug into his back mercilessly, "I could think of much more painful ways." Come to think of it, Rodney was sure she could. "You're back's in terrible condition, I'm surprised you can even walk." She couldn't help but be a little impressed at his ability to function through that pain. Eat your heart out, John Sheppard.

"Got used to it," Rodney mumbled. "Ow-ow-ow," he cried. If she wasn't doing it deliberately, she sure must be taking some pleasure out of hurting him.

"Quite complaining," Katie said, but there wasn't much admonishment in her voice. "It'll feel better when I'm done. Why did you let it get this bad, anyway? There are masseurs on stuff precisely for this kind of thing."

"You know I have personal space issues," he mumbled. Then he admitted, "I already tried. They made it worse."

Despite herself, Katie smiled. She recalled Jeannie's words about Rodney's incredible dislike for having his personal space invaded. He must feel incredibly comfortable with her, even after two months, if he would let her do this to him. Especially when he was hurting. He grunted a few times, determined not to show just how painful Katie's massage was at first, but as she progressed and soothed his knotted back, he quietened and even engaged in casual conversation with her. He asked her about her work, the experiments she'd been working on before they'd left Atlantis that he'd never followed up on, on account that she always froze him out. She was flattered that he remembered, and that he seemed genuinely interested. She had made herself forget the excellent rapport they'd had when they'd broken up, and now it was all coming back to her.

Over an hour, Rodney's casual conversation petered out as he drifted off to sleep. Katie couldn't help but be pleased with herself. She was still the only person he could truly relax around. It made her feel… connected to him.

She got off him and draped his shirt over his back, not wanting to wake him. She couldn't resist a backward glance at him as she left his room. He looked so peaceful asleep, not like the cranky man Atlantis had known for the last two months. It reminded her of how happy they had been together.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Radek found Katie the afternoon of the next day. She had little to do with the Czech scientist, especially now that she and Rodney had broken up, so she was surprised to see him. She greeted him warmly, though. She had always liked what little she had known of him. He was a friendly man who, despite his shyness with people he was unfamiliar with, had made an effort to get to know Katie because she made Rodney happy and he of all people knew the value of _that_.

"What happened between you and Rodney?" Radek asked, a little shyly, because he wasn't sure he wanted the answer. Rodney had seemed almost _happy_ today, certainly far more relaxed then he had been since coming back to Atlantis minus his relationship with Katie.

"Why do you ask?" Katie asked innocently.

"He's nice," Radek said, with no hint of irony. Rodney being nice was something of an unusual event on Atlantis these days. "He said good morning. And he didn't yell at me, at all." He looked at her hopefully.

Katie smiled. "It's not what you want to hear," she warned him. "We talked and I rubbed his back the way he likes. He gets wound up and he can't sleep. I guess that's why he's being nice, he had a good nights sleep for once."

"What did you talk about?"

_Subtle, Radek_, Katie thought. "Not our relationship," she cut straight to the chase. "Mostly work." Radek looked disappointed but decided that Rodney just being nice was a good start.

"Well… maybe you can do it more often?" Radek suggested, He was no matchmaker but he knew how much Rodney loved Katie. He didn't know what had gone wrong, other then the rumours flying around, but he very much wanted them back together, for his own sake as much as Rodney's.

Katie smiled. "Goodbye, Radek," she said affectionately. She was surprised at how happy she was herself, having spent time with Rodney that didn't involve her yelling at him. It didn't erase the deep pain she felt whenever she thought of Rodney's betrayal – but it took the edge of it.

She was pleasantly surprised when Rodney came to see her shortly after Radek had left. "Hey, I just wanted to, um, thankyou for last night," he said in a low voice. No-one else was around, but he still didn't want to risk someone overhearing them and getting the wrong impression about what 'last night' had been.

He had woken up feeling refreshed, and had agonised all day over whether or not to talk to Katie. On the one hand, every time he had tried, she had frozen him out. But on the other, that had been _before_ she had come to his room and spent an hour rubbing his back and engaging in friendly conversation with him. That had to count for _something_, and he figured he'd look ungrateful if he didn't thank her.

She smiled. She had known Rodney was grateful, but that he had taken the time to seek her out and tell her so meant a lot. Rodney wasn't big on admitting someone had done him a favour. "It was nothing," she said magnanimously. "If you ever want –"

"I couldn't ask that of you," Rodney said.

"You're not asking, I'm offering," Katie corrected. "You were in a lot of pain, Rodney, and if I can help that I will."

Her offer was genuine, and she seemed so actually care whether he was in pain or not. It wasn't the same as forgiving him but it was a start. "Tomorrow night?" he asked hopefully. He really wanted to suggest tonight but he didn't want to look too greedy. He was sure she had plenty of other offers.

"Tomorrow night," she agreed. "I'll come by around nine?"

"Nine is great," he said. "Thankyou." Tentatively, he reached out to brush her upper arm gently in appreciation, unsure of what kind of reception he was going to receive for his contact. He looked relieved when she didn't pull back automatically and didn't push his luck by touching her any longer then was absolutely necessary. He left Katie's office feeling very happy with the way things had turned out. He was under no illusions that she was ready to forgive him. You didn't go from freezing a person out to forgiving them in a day. But she had shown she cared about his welfare, and that had to count for something.

He wondered of Samantha Carter had anything to do with that.

He went looking for her, and found her – in his office, no less. She had set up shop there like she had last time she'd been in Atlantis. "You know," he said, remarkably good naturedly given how touchy he was about being in his space, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't just commandeer my space for your use."

Samantha looked sheepish. "Sorry," she said. "I had my own office but everything cool was in here and it seemed like a waste of time to keep coming and getting it. That, and I've been told you're very territorial about your stuff."

"Damn straight," Rodney said in something that was almost friendly banter. If Samantha was the one who had gotten Katie to be nice to him, then he could be a little nice to her. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Doctor Jackson was sitting in the corner, amusing himself with whatever archaeologists amused themselves with. His almost-smile faded. Samantha he could tolerate, but not Daniel. He had no appreciation for Rodney's work, and as such, was liable to stuff something out. "You, out," he ordered.

Needless to say, Daniel was not taking well to being ordered around by the man who had slept with his girlfriend. "If Sam's here, then I'm here," he replied resolutely.

"Why, you don't trust us to be alone together?" Rodney jeered.

"Something like that," Daniel responded. The jeering smile on Rodney's face disappeared. If Daniel was going to insist on shadowing Samantha the whole time they were on Atlantis, that could be a problem, although Rodney couldn't help but be the teensiest bit smug that his presence rattled the archaeologists like that. Not that he had any interest in Samantha anymore but it did his ego good to know Daniel was insecure.

"Out," Rodney ordered. "I want to talk to Sam alone. Oh, for pete's sake, you can stand outside the door if you're _that_ suspicious but what I have to say is none of your business." The astrophysicist glared at the archaeologist, who decided it was time to take his life. Outside the door. Samantha had showered him with reassurances, and he did believe her when she'd promised nothing would happen between them, but he still didn't like the thought of them being alone together.

Once Daniel was gone, Rodney turned to Samantha. "Did you talk to Katie?" he asked.

Samantha nodded. "Doctor Weir asked me to come. Said you were making everyone miserable."

"What did you tell her? Katie, I mean."

"I told her what happened between us was a mistake, a drunken mistake," Samantha said, her eyes clouding over when she thought about just what a mistake it had been and how close she had come to losing Daniel.

"I told her that!" Rodney said indignantly.

Samantha couldn't help but smile. "Women tend not to believe anything their boyfriends say in justification of cheating," she said, then she added wryly, "the other woman, on the other hand…"

"You came all this way to tell Katie it was a mistake?" Rodney asked.

Samantha nodded. "I felt bad," she admitted. "I mean, I instigated it, I kissed you – "

He cut her off. "That's no excuse for my behaviour, Sam," he said with maturity that she hadn't realised he had. Rodney McKay, facing up to his mistakes. Wonders would never cease.

"Maybe not… but I felt bad that you were so miserable, especially when Daniel and I got back together. And believe me, I think it sounded much better coming from me then it did you. "

Rodney smiled. "Thankyou," he said gratefully. Daniel, he thought, must be good for her if she had come all the way out here because her conscience had dictated it. Without thinking, he leaned in to plant a quick, grateful kiss on Samantha's kiss. It felt too natural for either of them to think that it could be misconstrued, and when his lips connected with her skin, they were both made aware of how little chemistry there was between them now. The thought of losing the ones they truly loved had killed any attraction they had once had for one another.

"So, why happened to put you in such a good mood?" Samantha asked, and her playful tone was more of a sister then anything else.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Rodney said. "Nothing happened. We just talked, and she rubbed my back for me."

Samantha smirked. Sounded pretty gutter-worthy to her. "As in, you were half-naked?" she asked.

Rodney glared at her. "It wasn't like that," he said huffily. It was kind of endearing. Time spent with Katie must mean a lot to him if he was getting on the defensive so quickly.

Daniel knocked on the door. "Can I come back in?" he asked, wondering what exactly they needed to talk about that he couldn't witness.

"Just a minute," Samantha called through the door. She looked at Rodney sheepishly. "Sorry," she said.

"Is he always like this or is it just me being here?" Rodney asked.

"You, mostly," Samantha admitted. "He didn't want me to come to Atlantis." She sighed. "I don't think he'll ever feel comfortable with you being around. That's the price we pay, I guess. He's going to get a little annoying, I'm warning you upfront."

Rodney smiled wryly. "At least Katie will have nothing to worry about," he said.

Daniel looked suspiciously at them when he re-entered the office. He _knew_ nothing had happened, but he just didn't like the idea of them being alone together, he never would.

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"You look happy."

"Don't start, Liz, I've had everyone on Atlantis comment about it," Rodney complained.

"That's because everyone on Atlantis is used to be a grumpy shit," Elizabeth countered, not mincing words. "Does this have anything to do with Katie?"

"That's none of your business," Rodney said bluntly.

"This whole expedition is my business," Elizabeth countered. She was tempted to order Rodney to talk, but knowing that wouldn't be very effective, she tried to friendly route. "You know I'll keep quiet – and besides, I was the one who called Colonel Carter here. I figure that means you owe me."

Rodney couldn't help but smile; Elizabeth certainly had a way of convincing people to talk. "It was nothing," he admitted. "When I went to my room last night she was already there – I don't know why, come to think – and she rubbed my back for me, it helped me get to sleep."

"But she was _talking_ to you?" Elizabeth asked. Rodney nodded his confirmation. "Which is much better then her cutting you off every time you tried to talk to her." Unlike Samantha and Radek, whose minds were in the gutter, Elizabeth knew the value of a therapeutic massage as far as Rodney was concerned. And so did Katie. For Katie to have made such a concession spoke volumes about how much she still cared about Rodney – and how effective whatever Samantha had said to her must have been.

Encouraged by Elizabeth's words, Rodney said, "I thanked her for it before, and she said that was in no problem, and that if I wanted it again – she said she'd come by tomorrow night," he said, his eyes sparkling despite himself. He'd promised he wouldn't make a big deal about it, especially not himself, but it was hard not to. Two days ago she hadn't been speaking to him, and yesterday – it had felt so _comfortable_. Maybe not sexual or romantic, he realised they had a long way to go, but definitely comfortable. It relieved him to no end that they still had a rapport with which to build a relationship.

Elizabeth was relieved to see Rodney smiling. Which brought her to another thing. "If you fuck this up again –" she began bluntly.

Rodney immediately looked contrite. He was all too aware of how much he had to make up to Katie. "I know," he said.

" –I'll have John throw you off the balcony and put all of Atlantis out of its misery," Elizabeth said, looking deadly serious. "I mean it, Rodney. You've put everyone through hell with your snarkiness and tantrums – and it was your own fault that she left you. If she sees fit to forgive you, you'd better be damn grateful and make sure it never happens again." Now that Rodney wasn't likely to snarl at the slightest criticism, Elizabeth saw fit to call it as she saw it.

Rodney looked even more contrite. "I know it was my fault," he admitted freely. "Believe me, if Katie will take me back, I'm not going to be so stupid ever again. I miss her so much, Liz," he whispered.

He looked like he was on the verge of tears. He really loved her, Elizabeth realised, and had been beating himself up over his mistake ever since he'd made it. It was hard to give someone a thorough ass-kicking when they were doing such a good job of it himself. There was no denying, Rodney had been stupid in sleeping with Samantha. But if Katie couldn't see how remorseful he was, she wasn't too bright herself.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Doctor Jackson," Katie said when she poked her head around the door of the room Daniel and Samantha were sharing. She was relieved to find the archaeologist alone ; as enlightened as her talk with Samantha yesterday had been, she really wanted to talk to Daniel, one-on-one.

Daniel smiled when he saw Katie. He'd had a feeling the woman was going to approach him soon enough. Samantha was off with Rodney doing some sciencey thing – it bored him out of his brains, so he'd gotten Radek to supervise them and the three of them were happy as larks. "Come in," he said warmly. "I need a break anyway."

"Where's Colonel Carter?" she asked.

"With McKay. And Zelenka. Being science geeks," Daniel said ruefully, well aware that he could be just as much of a geek in his chosen field.

Katie smiled ruefully. "You don't trust them alone together, do you?" she asked.

Daniel thought carefully. "It's not that I don't trust them, I do – or at least, I trust _her_, I don't know him well enough. I just don't like them being alone together. They don't exactly how the best record."

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," Katie said. "How do you – I mean, don't you ever – how –?"

"How can I put it behind us?" Daniel offered. Katie nodded. "Sometimes it's hard, especially now. I much preferred it when we were in different galaxies. But I just have to think about the alternative… I love her, and I don't want to live without her. I believe that it was a mistake, I believe it won't happen again – not with McKay, not with anyone."

Katie bit her lip. "I'm scared that if I forgive him, he'll take advantage of that," she admitted. "He did it once, what's to stop him doing it again?"

"That's up to you," Daniel said. "Sam knows that I won't forgive him again. And for what it's worth, she seems pretty convinced that he won't jeopardise your relationship like that again. She came all the way out here convinced of that, so maybe her opinion's worth something."

Daniel wasn't sure if his words had any impact on Katie. It was patently obvious that she still loved him, but he of all people knew what it was like to be in that head space. Whether or not she could trust him was going to be up to her and no-one else.

-----------------------------------------------------------

She noticed after fifteen minutes that Rodney was happy to talk about her work – took a lot of interest in it – but wouldn't talk about his. And he was really unsubtle about it, too, changing the subject to something completely random whenever he asked him what he was working on. Rodney McKay was an arrogant man who thought he was the Saviour of Atlantis, he needed no encouragement to talk about his work, so that he wasn't jumping on an invitation to do so was a minor sign of insanity.

"Rodney," she said in that voice he knew to well – it was always a preface to an admonishment. He tried to think of what he'd done. "Why don't you want to talk about your work?"

"My work's boring," he insisted. _That_ was a _major_ sign in insanity. She dug her fingers into his back a little deeper then necessary. He yelped. "Alright, alright," he muttered. The so-called 'gentler sex' sure knew how to inflict pain. He figured since they weren't actually together, she had no right to complain. "Sam and I did lots of cool stuff and I figured you didn't want to hear it. _OW!_" he yelled when she dug her fingers in even deeper then before. "Hey, that's not fair," he complained. "We aren't together anymore and it was just astrophysics stuff. And Radek was there the whole time."

Katie released her grip, an automatic response to hearing him talk about Colonel Carter rather then a deliberate infliction of pain. "Sorry," she said. He could hear the smile in her voice. Of course she had known Radek had been babysitting the two of them, Daniel had put the Czech up to it. Katie wondered if any goods had changed hands. She figured it was a good angle to ease into relationship talk from. Just to get a few hints about where they stood. "Doctor Jackson seems to think you and Colonel Carter need a baby-sitter," she remarked casually.

Rodney squirmed. It wasn't something he really wanted to talk about, but since _she_ had brought it up, clearly she did. "We don't," he said resolutely, thinking about their sibling-esque kiss yesterday. If there had ever been a moment to see where they stood with attraction, that had been it. And there was none, not anymore. The more he thought about it, the more of a relief it became. He was totally clear of his infatuation with her! "But we haven't exactly given Daniel reason to trust us," he said ruefully, "so we kind of deserve it."

She sniggered. "I'm sorry, did I just hear you say you deserve to have your ass kicked for making a mistake?" she asked.

"Yeah, you have a good laugh at my expense, just don't keep doing what you're doing," Rodney said good-naturedly. He was prepared to take all sorts of crap from her if she kept rubbing his back. He was prepared to take all sorts of crap from her if she took him back, but that was another story. Besides, it was good to be on speaking terms with her again. And to hear her laugh and know she was smiling, even if it _was _at his expense.

"How long does the offer stand?" she asked, thinking she could get some _really_ good dirt to tease him about from Radek or John. Hmm, that reminded her of his stupid 'passing out from manly hunger' comment – she hadn't been around when he'd said it but it had been brought up over their first kiss. She was suddenly reminded of the fact it _really_ turned Rodney on when she trailled kisses down his spine.

Rodney was aware of the sudden crackling chemistry in the room and as much as he wanted to continuing bantering with Katie, he knew the decision had to come from her and not their mutual attraction – which, he was relieved to know, was still mutual. "Katie," he said, trying to sound as sleepy as he could manage, "I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep now."

Katie was relieved for the request to leave. Things were starting to feel a little too familiar for comfort, and she didn't want that just yet. She got off Rodney and averted his eyes when he put his shirt on so she wouldn't have to look at his bare chest. "Good night, then," she said. "Do you want me to do this again?"

"Two days?" Rodney asked hopefully. Katie nodded. She was glad to leave, as nice as it had felt to be with Rodney. She wasn't ready to slip into that old routine.

Halfway down the hall, she realised that she had never known Rodney to ask her to stop before he'd fallen asleep or they'd had sex. She wondered if he'd been aware of the chemistry they had been generating, and decided that he had to have been. Was _that_ the reason he'd asked her to stop, he didn't want to do something she would regret? He had broken her heart over Colonel Carter, but Katie couldn't deny, he had known her well and done a damn good job of anticipating her needs and catering to them. Had he done so again? She smiled at the thought.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

They slipped into a comfortable routine, seeing each other once every few days, ostensibly for therapeutic reasons, which no-one really bought, but it didn't hurt their burgeoning new friendship. He was respectful of the boundaries, grateful to have her back in his life even just as a friend. He had promised himself if that was all she was willing to give, then it was all he would ask for.

She was impressed with his new sense of maturity. The truth was, he had done a lot of thinking since they had broken up, and more since they had started this – whatever it was they were doing. He had fucked up, pure and simple. Maybe he had been drunk, maybe he had been wound up, but he could have stopped it if he'd really wanted to. He hadn't wanted to, or maybe he just hadn't been truly aware of the consequences, maybe he had started to take her for granted. No, he _had_ started to take her for granted. He had become used to her soothing, loving presence in his life to a point that she had become as much of a permeance in his life as he was. When Samantha had crossed his path, she had been new and exciting. He had thought with his dick instead of his heart. He had been an idiot and he had deserved to lose her.

Self-reflection did not come easy to Rodney. He considered himself to always be in the right, no matter what. So to come to the conclusion that his sleeping with Samantha was entirely his fault was a hard one. But he came to it. He having come to it, he realised that the only right thing to do was accept whatever Katie was willing to give. If she only wanted to be friends, he could handle that. He _would_ handle it, for her sake.

"Katie," he mumbled one day, because admitting he was wrong just to himself was hard enough, admitting it to the target of his wrongdoings was agonising, "I'm sorry. For everything. Not just about Sam. I could have been much nicer to you, I was a real shit sometimes."

She had never heard that one in his voice, and she doubted anyone else had, ever. It was true remorse from someone who was sorry they'd hurt someone else – and not because they'd been caught. It was what she been longing to hear from him. "You were fine," she murmured. Without thinking, her fingers became much more caressing.

"No, I wasn't," he insisted. "I could have been there more then I was, I could have been less involved in my work. I should have let you know how much you meant to me."

He was starting to get teary, and Katie took that as her cue to leave. Instinct told her he didn't want her to witness him feeling sorry for himself. But before she left she asked, "What makes you think I didn't already know?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

For another month, things continued as they were. Katie and Rodney saw each other several times a week, much to the amusement of everyone on the expedition, who didn't believe for a second that all she was doing for him was rubbing his back. After his heartfelt apology, they had made and built on an emotional connection that was stronger then anything they'd had before they'd broken up. They hadn't been friends before they had gotten together – that had come after – so they had never connected _just_ as friends. Now they were. And it was empowering, if a little frustrating.

Katie kept expecting Rodney to make the first move, not realising he had accepted her friendship and figured if she wanted anything more, she would make that move. He had ample opportunity, and she tried helping the situation by flirting with him. He was completely oblivious to it, or rather, he just chose to ignore it. He vowed he would not make a move on her, as tempting as it was sometimes, especially when her massaging became more caressing then anything else.

Eventually, she started to wonder if he _was_ still interested in her in that way. He was attracted to her, that was obvious enough, but did he still want a relationship with her? He had expressed genuine remorse about screwing up their relationship – was he afraid of screwing up their friendship by pushing the issue? Or was he just not interested in being in a relationship anymore? He certainly didn't beg for her forgiveness and to be taken back like he did in the first few weeks after their breakup. Was he trying to give her space or did he just not care?

She decided to be proactive. Maybe a little jealousy would go help. She started spending a lot of time with Kavanagh, who cottoned on immediately to the fact that she couldn't possibly be interested in him as a scientist, so she had to be interested in him as a man. Ha, he'd never understood what she'd seen in McKay. He was only too happy to have her hanging around, spending lunch with him, basking in his glory.

Katie felt a little bad using the man like that, but her conscience was eased somewhat by the fact Kavanagh had no redeeming qualities. He was arrogant and pompous and more then a little chauvinistic. His only redeeming quality that he was far too arrogant to suspect a woman might want him for anything other then his charming self.

It took four meetings together – two in the gateroom and two in the mess hall, always with Rodney able to see them – before Kavanagh thought to kiss her. And when he did, she was a little grateful that he'd taken his time. He was the single worst kisser she'd ever had the misfortune to deal with. He pressed his mouth against hers hard and forced his tongue down her throat. She stifled the urge to push him off and throw up. She _really_ hoped Rodney had seen this, because she didn't want to do this again.

Rodney had been watching her with Kavanagh every minute they'd been together, his heart filled with jealousy. He kept telling himself that he had no right to interfere with her life. But maybe, when he got her alone, he'd mention that she had appalling taste in men – as a friend, of course, not as a jealous ex-boyfriend.

But when Kavanagh kissed her – _and she kissed him back!_ – his restraint abandoned him and he bounded over to where they were sitting and roughly pulled Kavanagh away from Katie. "You son of a bitch!" he yelled at the wiry scientist. He was ready to punch Kavanagh's daylights out, but then he caught a glimpse of Katie's face and he realised what he'd done. Back off immediately, he looked contrite. "I'm so sorry," he said. "I'm sorry. I'm –" he fled the mess hall, leaving a very angry Kavanagh and Katie with a smile on her face.

Kavanagh got up from where he'd landed on the floor. He was furious. He was going to demand Elizabeth discipline. Haha, that would teach him. And all the while, he'd have McKay's girl.

"Not now," Katie said disinterestedly when Kavanagh tried to kiss her again. Now that Rodney's actions had confirmed he still wanted to be with her, she was more repulsed then ever by Kavanagh. A shower, a change of clothes and a good teeth-brushing was what she needed right now, she decided. And then to see Rodney.

Half an hour later, she let herself into Rodney's room. He was sitting on his bed, looking very distressed – and holding something small. And box-shaped. Her heart leapt.

When he saw her, he quickly hid the box behind his back. He considered having it sent back to Earth to Jeannie, no way would Katie have anything to do with him now. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I was an ass. I had no right to do that."

"Why did you do it?" Katie asked, wanting to hear Rodney say the words.

"Don't drag it out, Katie. Just leave me alone."

She stepped closer to him. "I want to know why you did it," she pressed.

"Because I want to be with you!" he cried, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Because seeing you with him made me so jealous I wanted to kill him. But I was wrong and I'm sorry." He stared at his lap, willing her to leave so he wouldn't have to deal with a lecture about what his place was. He knew what his damn place was – as a friend.

"Hey…" Katie gently tilted his head up so he was looking at her. "I wanted to know if you still wanted to be with me," she admitted.

He looked at her in surprise. "You did?" he asked. She nodded. "Why?"

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. This was the Rodney she knew and loved, no good with women unless it was spelled out for him. "Because," she said, moving in to straddle him, "I wanted to know if my feelings were unrequited before I made an ass of myself."

Rodney's eyes widened. "You wanna give it another go?" he asked, his heart racing.

She wrapped one arm around his neck and used her free hand to slip over his heart. She grinned. It was racing. "Yes," she said.

"Oh, God," he whispered. This was what he'd been hoping for. Before she changed her mind, he kissed her quickly, closed-mouth.

She smirked. "I _know_ you can do much better then that," she said, and he took that as a challenge and kissed her deeply.

Sparks flew. He thought he'd never get enough of her again. Keeping one arm around her waist, he touched her body with his free hand, revisiting all the places she liked. "Katie, Katie," he murmured tearfully. "I've missed you so much." He began kissing her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

"Never again, though," she warned him.

"Believe me, I've been in hell without you," Rodney admitted. "I would never jeopardise us like that again. I love you." And she believed him. Using her legs as leverage, she pushed him down onto the bed. His hastily-hidden ring box dug into his back and he squirmed uncomfortably.

Katie saw it as a good opportunity to bring it up. "What's that?" she asked innocently, pretending she didn't know exactly what it was.

Rodney reached under him and extracted the box. "Nothing," he lied. He was a terrible liar and they both knew it.

She reached for it. "Let me see."

"No."

"Are you hiding something?"

"No. It's just none of your business."

She kissed him gently. "If you want to spend the rest of your life with me," she said, choosing her words carefully, "everything's pretty much my business."

He looked at her hopefully. "You mean that? About spending our lives together?" he asked.

She nodded. "I do," she said, her voice full of love and commitment. "Just so long as you don't fuck it up," she added, reminding him that she was no pushover. She might forgive him once, but not a second time. Well, once was plenty for Rodney, he wouldn't make _that_ mistake again.

Reluctantly, because he didn't know what reaction he would get, he handed over the box. "It's my mother's engagement ring," he admitted. "I wanted to ask you to marry me but, well, you weren't exactly talking to me."

She looked at it, pretending that she hadn't seen it before. It _was_ a beautiful ring. For a moment, she was lost in its dazzle, and the fact she meant so much to Rodney that only a family heirloom would do.

"Um, Katie?" Rodney prompted. She glanced up at him ; his face was stricken was panic and anxiety. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was completely dry. Oh, God, if she turned him down he didn't know what he would do. He had rushed things, he was certain. No way would she accept his proposal when they'd just gotten back together.

"What?" she asked playfully, enjoying watching Rodney squirm. It wasn't like he didn't deserve it.

"Don't tease," he begged in a whisper. "If you don't want to marry me then please… just go away."

"Of course I want to marry you," Katie blurted out. She'd meant to play it cool, make him sweat for a few minutes, but she found she couldn't.

His face lit up and he buried his head in her shoulder. "Oh, thank God," he whispered, holding her tightly. "I didn't know what I was going to do if you said no." He pulled his head away and pulled the ring out of the box. Holding out her left hand, he slipped the ring onto the ring finger. It fit perfectly. "I love you, Katie," he whispered.

"I love you too."

And with that, all restraint was abandoned as their chemistry quickly translated into sex. For two whole minutes he managed no keep his emotions in check before bursting into tears. He climaxed quickly and buried his head in her shoulder, his body heaving with sobs. "I'm sorry," he cried into her skin.

She stroked his hair gently. "For being a bad boyfriend or being a bad lay?" she asked lightly. She didn't bother to tell hi that he'd lasted longer then she'd expected him too ; it had been a while for both of them, but it was different for men.

She had meant her comment to be light, but he took it seriously. "Both," he said. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

She kissed him. "I know you will," she said. And she knew he would – on every count.

**THE END**


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